The Lies We Told On Thursday Nights

30. Tuesday: Die or Help

Hey eveyrone! So, heads up, this chapter talks about suicide a lot and how someone views themselves. This is a bit more triggering than I usually write, so I apologize.

Levi

Tuesday: 1:23 pm

"No."

That was all I could say without combusting agony. I pivoted, already prepared to walk away from the girl in front of me. I didn't want to have this discussion. I didn't want to hear her desperate pleas.

"Levi," Dina seethed, she was pissed. And god when she was pissed her cheeks turned red and forehead wrinkled. She looked bloodthirsty and murderous. "Emery, she's really sick. Your the only one who can help her."

I shook my head until my neck ached. "No, I'm not the only one. In fact I'm not one at all. I have no connection to Nates and have no relationship that would drive me to help her. I hardly know the girl." I was rambling, I rambled when I'm nervous.

I was lying of course, well, half of it. I did have a connection with Emery, but I was hardly in a position to offer support, support she'd accept at least.

"Dammnit, dude. She likes you. Like likes likes. And that means she will listen to you."

Likes like? I frowned. She didn't like like me, in fact I doubt she even liked me. What Dina was saying was unfathomable. Unless I was blind, it was obvious any connection Emery and I had was one of vague coincidence.

"Yeah right," I hissed, taking a step in the other direction. "She doesn't like me, at all. And I don't like her. And therefore-"

Dina cut me off with a deathly serious voice. "There is no: therefore, Levi, there is just the truth. She told me she liked you. She told me she was sick, god Levi, she is sick. Making herself throw up, that is how I found her. She was in some 24 hours fast. She's nearly dead."

I felt nauseous again, the sound of Katie's vomiting haunting my mind. I was in the room next to her in the hospital, the walls were thin, too thin. It was night time, our doors locked, no communication with the outside world.

I wanted to run from my room and help her, but I didn't. I woke up, and like usual she was sitting in the common room with her typical smile.

I approached her slowly and expressed what I heard, she just laughed and said I was ludicrous. I didn't know what that word meant so I asked.

In turn she laughed again and said it didn't matter, whatever I heard was wrong.

I wonder if I told the nurses she wouldn't have been found her throat bleeding.

I could say something now. I could help Emery Nates now. I had the opportunity to make up for the mistake I made with the first love of my life.

I was trying to come up with some witty response to Dian's ludicrous (I learned what that word meant) statement that Emery liked me, and the ludicrous idea that the girl was almost dead.

I didn't want it to be true. And to make sure things are right are to deny them until you die. "I don't believe you."

Dina let out a low growl as she threw her hands up the air. "For fuck's sake. Why would I have any reason to lie?"

I couldn't think of a response, she had no reason to lie. In fact she had no reason to be telling me this.

"You wouldn't" I began. "But you are lying when you say I can help her. I can't."

I thought back to Katie's limp body.

But then I thought about my own body. My own limp body that would be lay on my bathroom floor in the coming days. I smiled.