Silent Howl (AOT Fanfiction) DISCONTINUED CAUSE I SUCK

Chapter 1 | Alone (1)

*Slight trigger warning. Details at the end of the chapter*

Sounds. Sounds that were a blur. They blurred into one with the pounding in my head and the darkness that I could see. The ground was hard beneath my head I knew that much. But those sounds, they didn't care. They didn't care about a small girl on the floor. No. They never cared.

I had to get up though, my mama was waiting for me. She needed me. Even if she was among those who didn't care. I forced my eyes open and glared at the people stepping around me, not caring whether they trod on me or sprayed dirt in my face.

But that's how things were, that's how they would always be down here. The city everyone knew about but no one talked about. A city so far away from sunlight and, resultantly, life.

I rolled onto my side and struggled to my feet. My attempt at the merchants carts ended in me being flung across the street and my head hitting a wall. Upon a brief look I found that the merchants had taken most of what I'd stolen, but obviously not what was up my shirt.

I'd managed to hide a small loaf of bread that had gone unnoticed. That would be enough, right? It had to be. I staggered forwards in the direction of my home, being shoved around by the people who thought they owned the place. Which was everyone with a knife.

By the time I'd made it to the door of my home, the pale and virtually nonexistent light had all but gone. Bringing my hand up to the splintering wood, I knocked.

"What is it?" The hoarse voice was followed by a fit of rasping coughs. She still wasn't getting any better.

"Um, it's me mama." My small voice barely made it past the threshold but my mama had ears that could hear anything.

The door was wrenched open and a withered and gaunt face appeared. "How long has it taken you to get back here you filth? Get out of here." Then she spied the loaf of bread clutched in my hands. "I'll take that. Now go." She couldn't shout, as much as she tried she couldn't. So I just stood there, quiet tears brimming as she slammed the door in my face.

Most nights I would sleep on the steps outside the house, that is if she didn't find enough compassion to let me step inside and sleep on the floor there.

To her I was a monster, a rodent and a pest that had to be exterminated. I was worthless to her. But she was my mother and I knew that even if she hated me, I couldn't just leave her. Besides, how could a ten year old girl survive in the underground on her own for the rest of her life?

This time I was lucky, at least I didn't get a backhand to go with the slamming door. That was a common occurrence.

The day my father left, mama began to grow weary and fall into depression. She stopped caring about me and only about herself, whether that was a side effect of the depression or that she just decided that she was the only one she needed to look after, I didn't know.

Still, everyday I would bring her some food and wait for the day to come when she would let me in with open arms. But that day never came.

"God you look pathetic." I turned my head from my foetal position and looked towards the voice. He was a tall man with a briefcase and a beige coat. I'd never seen him before, that was certain.

I sniffled and hid my tear stained face with my hands. Saying nothing I sunk into a smaller form, just hoping that he'd carry on past.

"Grow a pair and you might just get that woman to respect you more." What did he know. He wasn't going through what I was, he wasn't as young as I was. But he kept on walking.

I kept silent as he carried on walking by. I was surprised by his words, very few if anyone actually stopped to speak to me. Even my mother tried to pretend I didn't exist.