Portion (Ongoing)

nagging

One evening 

Xavier

I ended up at the bar, Stanley's Joint.

I couldn't believe it.

Tomorrow was the anniversary. I remember it just like yesterday. Boy, doesn't time just sneak up on you nowadays. The hardest day of my life, and I have to work.

I was supposed to be home hours ago, but I didn't care. I just needed a drink to come my nerves. Who cares if Beatrice is thinking right at this very moment that I was cheating. As long as I knew that I'm not, then that's okay with me. She just doesn't trust me at all even when I love her with my every being.

But right now, fuck her.

Fuck work.

Fuck life.

You know what? Fuck everything.

As the one person I need on tomorrow,  she will just push it to the side like it isn't anything.

I motioned the bartender for another round of vodka shots.

And no, I am not an alcoholic. I just need a taste now and then to release stress.

As the bartender placed the shot glasses on the counter, getting them ready for me to drink, I heard the stool beside me scraped against the floor. I didn't bother to look.

"Hey handsome."

I sigh.

Looking over to my left, I see a tall, skinny white woman. Blondie. She wears a rather short, red dress that barely goes over her knees, tacky red lipstick stains her lips, and I see one of her false eyelashes hanging on by a thread.

Not my taste.

I looked back and forth at all the empty stools on both sides of me. I look into my imaginary camera like on The Office. All these free seats, and she chooses to sit by me. I turned towards her direction and point towards myself with a questioning look. She nods.

Here we go.

"Look lady, before you start this is not the time. I want to be left alone." I express exhaustingly as I sat my drink back on the counter.

Her mouth was left open. "But I wanted t-"

"And I wanted to be left alone, but you ruined that didn't you?" I interrupted with a huff.

"Can I get to know you?", she pressed on, leaning closer to me as I f she never heard of personal space.

"I have a girlfriend."

"It's 2018, that doesn't mean anything. I just want to get to know you." She fluttered her eyes all flirtatious like, well tried to. All I noticed was her fleeing eyelash finally take the leap of faith.

"You're right, it is 2018 isn't it?" I shrugged. "Well I lied about my girlfriend. I was in the closet, but you have made me realize not to be afraid anymore. I'm gay."

She gasped, but then composed herself and leaned over closer. "You know, I can make you come over back to the other side." She had the nerve to bite he lip.

Before I could say anything else, I was interrupted.

"For God's sake woman, give up!" Tony the bartender exclaimed exhaustedly.

She gasped and ran off.

"Sheesh. Xavier tell me your secrets.", he said, pushing my shots towards me.

Okay, I'm not an alcoholic, but I am a regular here. I known him for a long time now.

"I have none. They just come up to me, and it's starting to get annoying. No wonder Bea thinks I'm cheating on her."

"Oh how's the wifey? Shouldn't you be home with her?" He asked as he wipe the counter clean with a wash cloth.

"Still beautiful and still crazy. I just needed a drink." I rolled my eyes. Just gotta love the crazy ones.

"Oh yeah, I had my fair share of crazy." He laughed, but then sobered up quickly. "I just realized what tomorrow is. Are you going to be alright?"

I nodded. I doubt he would believe that.

"Bullshit. Matter fact let me take these babies back." His dark hand went to gather the remaining shots, but I glared at him.

"These are my last ones."

He gave me a sympathetic face. "Look X, I know losing a love one, especially her, is difficult, but I really think you should get some help. It's been years l, and I can tell it still has a hard effect on you. Shit, your drinking has gotten worst and like hell if I see you in a early grave. I need you to get your self and you shit together. "

I sighed once again and lift the rest of the shots up to my mouth.

I pat his shoulder and grab my coat. "Thanks for the concern Tony, but I'm fine. I'll see you later; I have to hurry and drive home before the vodka settle in."

I head to the door and hear the rest of his words. "Buddy, I'm just looking out for you. Be careful!"

I wave without turning back and exit.
◇◇◇◇◇

"Look who decided to show up."

I turned on the light and saw Bea sitting on the couch waiting up for me like those scenes in the detective movies. I didn't want to go through this and lash out at her, so I just hanged my coat on the rack and headed for the stairs.

"So your not going to talk to me?"
I looked around and saw her behind me, her arms crossed, in her pajamas  with her brunette hair now in a messy bun.

I had to admit, my baby looked adorable.

"Look babe, I just don't have it in me tonight. Especially...especially when tomorrow is the anniversary." I frowned.

She scoffed. "For heavens sake Xavier, you're still sad over your mother? It's been years! You need to grow up and be a man. I'm getting real sick and tired of this moping around and not caring so much for me. Maybe I should leave." With her hands on her hips, she stomps.

"I'm so tired to even fight. I have taken your shit for years because I love you, but you will not disrespect my mom." I spat out in defeat. "Sleep in the guest room tonight." I slam the door so hard, the whole world shakes.

Fuck her.