Dark Feelings Bright Thoughts

Fighting My Demons

You know at times I feel I'm enclosed in darkness, then I open my eyes and see its shrouded in negligence. I push myself to the brink, and even then I think, why do I even try?  Should I just give up and say goodbye? I've never been a huge wimp, but sometimes I can't even pimp, my aggression out. Throughout my life I've had moments where I needed more. Before you implore I shall elaborate more. My life has been a mess of sadness, anger and resentment that I blind my instincts into complete and utter disappointment. I wish my parents were here. Yes I'm being sincere, I feel like a child running alone in the world. Oh lord where art thou to smite these feelings with your sword? I feel trapped in this hell by the chains of my own making. To be clear it's figurative like the breast implants of many woman's taking. I have to make you laugh to hide my pain. In some instances it's the only reason I haven't gone insane. I push and pull against my shackles but it's like the harder I fight the more my demons cackle. I have a lover and she's my angel. If I lost her I'd be baneful, to everyone around me. She keeps me good and keeps my heart full. Without her I'd be a lost fool. If you didn't catch the word play, you'd think I'm just in a play trying to rhyme play with the word play in the word play. If you don't catch that rhyme you might as well stop reading, because their is more to say than just what I've been feeding. Open your mouth and you'll find my words very fulfilling, you can be glutton and I'll have you begging for more like sadists with a bee sting. Does that not tick over the time trialed ring? Maybe you think I'm trying to sing about my pain like a drunk man with a beer playing with a ping pong. Shut the fuck up! I wasn't yelling at you I just cut out my anger to continue my rhyming. Back to business as I pluck back to the finding, of myself. I want happiness but it runs away. Far out I can say. I want to die, no you don't you just don't want to lie. Shush he doesn't want anyone to fi-nd out he has voices telling him what to say. They'll catch him and put him in disarray. Don't lock us up in this Mansion. We want to be free and spread our chaos in fraction. I feel them banging on the walls and clawing at their cages. All my deep emotions casting things into my mind like sorceries from sages. But I will keep them there so no one knows. All my darkness will one day unfold. But until ten I will keep them locked up and cold. Behind a fake smile, and jokes and laughs, for a long while. I want to be remembered for the good I did before they break out and show my true colors that I forbid. Maybe she's the one who can change me, and hopefully in exchange I can give her everything she preserves. A happy life as a happy wife because that's what she deserves.