✓ | SERENDIPITY ❨ WOLFHARD! ❩

vi → eric.

TW: mentions of suicide, self harm

a/n: i'm sorry if this chapter doesn't have enough of that sappy fan fic you were looking for, but I promise it's coming soon. i came to the conclusion that this chapter needed to be put in, or else this story would be full of decisions that shouldn't have been made in real life. this story like every other, needs a base, and this is mine. although, the more important part of this chapter is the second 1/2 when finn's perspective is in place. please don't beat me up lol. 

. . .

Y/N'S POV
·ﾟ: *

i hate school and school probably hates me just as much. how do i know this? i find myself having the same conversation with myself everyday at 8:25am. it usually consists of:

why are you here? you don't need to learn how to balance chemical equations. it's not too late to run, nobody will notice. please, just do it.

some days it consists of:

you are a horrible human being and nobody wants to be your friend. i mean, look at you, you're extremely ugly and you have no self-confidence. why don't we just call it a day and get out of here, for everybody else's sake, please.

but today was special. it consisted of neither of those. today was much, much worse:

what am I gonna do? should i tell my friends about finn? wait, I don't have any friends, not really. i feel sick, am I gonna throw up? oh my god i'm gonna throw up. 

And that's when he texted me.

FINN
hey i had a really fun time yesterday!

Y/N
me too! It was really nice having some company

FINN
wdym?

Y/N
i mean my friends don't usually go out

FINN
i totally get it
well anyway hru?

Y/N
a little sick, you?

FINN
awh i'm sorry. i'm doing okay

Y/N
at least you're alright :)
sorry i gtg class is starting

FINN
i hope you feel better :( if you don't then just give me a call and we can talk
okay?

Y/N
for sure, thanks finn :)

FINN
no problem 😁

he will definitely be getting that call.

i walked into first period, english, and i saw evie. i was hoping she wouldn't notice me, but guess what? she did. she was dressed in sweatpants, a hoodie, white adidas, and her hair in a messy bun. i noticed her glance shift from whatever kind of conversation she was having with the guidance counselor to me. but instead of cold eyes, i saw someone who was hurt. really hurt.

"um, hi y/n." she stammered. her eyes were wet, puffy, and red from crying. i gathered my confidence and answered.

"hey, uh, sorry to ask, but-"

"am i ok?" she interrupted.

"uh-"

"i've been up since exactly 2:56 this morning, tear-glazed, waiting for you to respond. i have been crying for like, 6 hours. my friends decided that maybe it would be a great idea to, i don't know, sneak into my house, take my phone, tweet out that I was going to kill myself. and then, if that wasn't bad enough, they fucking lied to my face. they told me that they didn't do it. and guess what? how many times have they been to my house to know that it has security cameras? and yet, those bitches still lied to me. they made me feel like shit. and now, i'm here, friendless, crying in front of my english class, my guidance counsellor, my teacher, my principal, and someone who really, i desperately need right now. they might not have been so wrong when they told the world i wanted to kill myself." she covered her hands to her face and when her sleeves rid up, i could see 2 fresh scars on each of her wrists.

FINN'S POV
·ﾟ: *

maybe texting her wasn't a great idea, i said to myself quietly, maybe asking her to go out with me wasn't a good idea. i don't even know her, how stupid can you get, finn? and now, to make it even better, I fucking texted her? great, now a fan thinks i'm in love with her. absolutely splendid.

(still talking to himself) *i am so sorry you had to read this omg*

when the rain begins to pour, and i'm feeling either guilty, sad, depressed, or in some occasions, all three, i begin to feel like my life is just a story filled with pathetic fallacy. and yes i know, i do pay attention in english class. but sometimes,  i start to wonder if pathetic fallacy will ever happen when i'm not feeling bad. it seems like things only go the way i don't want them to go. it has never been raining, and then sunny again when i am happy. maybe i'm never happy enough.

"woah, are you okay?" my father said, looking at me like i was crazy, and i was.

"nothing, I was just thinking. I......nothing, okay?" this is gonna be really hard for him to believe. great job, SAG award-winning actor! 

"finn," my father said quietly. i looked at him with wide eyes, "you can talk to me, you know?"

there was a long pause, until i spilled everything out at a speed unimaginable.

"so, nick and i were with a girl yesterday, y/n. and well, i'm starting to have doubts of treating her as if i knew her for years and years. what if she's just using me? i met her at comic con. i shouldn't have given her all of my attention! and now i'm in this mess, because i just texted her and gave her even more attention by telling her to call me because she's not feeling well!" i took a huge breath. i could feel my eyes getting wet.

"look, finn," he sits down next to me on my bed, "doubt is the worst possible thing you can feel. it makes you beat yourself up, and honestly, i've been in this horrible part in my life where i wasn't sure if what i was feeling was right. doubt eats you up and then spits you backup over and over and over again. it strips you of everything you thought you knew about decision-making, but most importantly, friendships and relationships. now, you and nick weren't around, so i needed to handle it by myself. and it was hard finn. but you know what i learned?"

"whAt? i blinked away the floods. he put his arm around my shoulders and continued.

"now don't laugh, but i learned that the whole reason i was having doubt was because it was the first time I wasn't using my head to make decisions. i was using my gut and my heart—something i had never done before. the doubt kicked in because i was worried that my gut and heart feeling was wrong. but, i went with my heart. you wanna know what that decision was?"

i nodded.

"it was the decision of marrying your mom, finn."

. . .

w/c: 1133

i'm just gonna leave it at this took me a long time to decide whether to publish or discard.

edit: oK nevermind i'm not gonna leave it at that

THANK YOU FOR 417 (*437*) READSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS IN ALL HONESTY I THOUGHT I WOULD GET LESS THAN 50 HEH. OK BYE HAVE A NICE DAY/NIGHT WHEREVER YOU ARE!!!!