Bittersweet Existence

Chapter 1

*Flashback*

"No! You keep on controlling me and dad I am sick of it! why can 't you understand me for once?! ONCE?!" I shouted at my dad.

"June! That's not the way you speak to your father!" Mom shouted.

"June be in your limits!" My sister, May said.

"IM SORRY, I WAS WRONG, YOU ALL CONTROL ME! I WANNA LIVE ALONE!!" I said in full rage.

We were on the road, we had to get to an important get together.

I was not wearing my seat belt so My father scolded me for it. He's alwalys controlling me. I'm just so fed up!

My dad turned and said, "June we just love you so much and we want you to be safe and a good person and-"

"DAD LOOK OUT!!!!"

The car got hit by a truck.

The last thing I remember seeing was my father's sad face and the truck nearing us. Then it all just went blank.

Blank.

"She's alive."

"dear are you there?"

"wake up"

Some unfamiliar voices spoke. Where am I?

"Dad?" I asked.

"I'm sorry sweetie ...theyre dead...." A female voice informed.

They?

No...

No!

*End Of Flashback*

As the clock struck 12 I walked towards the all too familiar road.

I sat on it.

My father was telling me how much he loves me and all i did was shout...and scream and break his heart...

Why couldn't I die instead?

Little did I know my wish of living alone came true.

But the difference is...I'm not living.

I'm surviving with only flesh.

My soul is dead.

I'm no more the old June Addington.

"I miss grandma daddy" I said.

"Throw rocks in the sky. That way you can call her. She might say hi. Try darling" Daddy said.

I threw a pebble aiming at the shining star.

"oh look! its twinkling more! she said hi! come on wave!" He said.

The old memory came back as I threw a pebble at the small star.

I have been doing this ever since the accident. It calms me down. It somehow makes me feel closer. To my family.

Tears spilled out from the corner of my eye as I remembered their faces.

"kill me Mother Mary. I can't live with this pain. Why am I living?! I'm the one who's supposed to be dead!" I shouted into the black of the night, hoping God would hear me.

I layed my back down on the road and stared at the sky.

I noticed three stars in a triangle twinkiling and shining bright.

Tears flowed faster and I cried harder.

I just want to die.

Its been 5 years. And I havent changed.

This loss has created a huge impact on me and there's no getting out of it.

I picked myself up and headed for my apartment.

Unlocking the door, I went inside and slept straight away.

"You can't catch me! you can't catch me nanananana!!" I ran.

"The hungry monster will get you! Run!" May screamed.

"argh! I'm a hungry monster!" Dad said in scary voice.

"Girls! Honey! stop running around and do some work!" Mom said.

" Someone's has a bad stomach!" Dad said making funny gestures.

We all laughed.

the laughter echoed, till I woke up.

I woke up panting. Its an everyday thing....

These dreams haunt me. They bring back all the memories and stabs my heart further. There's nothing left.

Just regret.

This will never stop.

The never ending loneliness, the never ending sadness and the never ending list of regrets.

I get up and get ready for work.

Its a new dawn.

But nothing's changed.

And it never will.