Muse 📸 // Reader x Kim Taehyung (EDITING)

6) A Little Too Much

♪ Sometimes it all gets a little too much,

but you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up,

and you don't have to be afraid because we're all the same,

and we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much ♪ 

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Jimin practically rushed into your room, throwing the door quickly to the wall. You could tell you had a heated lecture coming your way.  You sighed and waited for the "fun" to begin.

"Sit," he ordered, pointing to your bed. Not particularly in the mood to fight him, you sat down on the edge of your bed, looking up at him as he paced back and forth.

"I'm still mad about earlier, and I thought we should have a chat about it," he began.

"Oh, by chat do you mean me sitting here silently while you berate and scold me for disobeying each and every one of your dictator-like commands?" you sassed.

"Stop it with the sass!" Jimin practically hissed at you. You were slightly taken aback, but it would not be the first time he had reacted in such a manner. You sighed and waited patiently for him to calm down a bit.

"Sorry," he mumbled quietly. "I didn't mean to yell at you like that."

"I know..." you whispered.

"Yeah—you do know how I get with these things. That's why you should be more careful next time. I told you that you shouldn't start wearing makeup yet, and you did, and it hurts, Y/N. I'm not trying to protect myself, I'm just trying to protect you. I can't stand the thought of seeing you hurt. I'm tired of seeing people hurt, Y/N. I can't do it. I just... can't do it, Y/N." His voice had traveled from assertive to barely a whisper. He fell down onto the bed next to you, tears forming in his eyes. Despite your escalating irritation, you put a comforting hand on his back.

"You know, that's just been the story of my life—watching people in pain and not being able to do anything about it... I'm tired of that being my story. I'm tired of thinking that I don't have a purpose beyond helplessly allowing the people I care for to become devastated with pain and suffering... I know I was young, but when you guys first joined the family... it was so hard on Mom and Dad. It was unreal—the loss they felt, the pain they felt. I could see it in their eyes."

You did not want to have this conversation. It was not something that you liked to think about, let alone talk about.

"They lost their best frien—"

"And I lost my parents. Can you not pretend that you know what it feels like?" Your words were cold. You were not sure why you were so agitated. He was already hurting, but of course, you had to say more to upset him. At this, he actually began to cry.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to bring it up to upset you. It's just—no one ever talks about it... Momma would lay awake crying for weeks, holding me to try to feel better. But I couldn't make her feel better... Dad went to the bar almost every night and that just made it worse..."

You never had really let him get this far into the monologue before. You were not particularly fond of the subject matter. Perhaps when you were younger, he thought it was less appropriate. Maybe he had hit a breaking point, and he just had to let it out. Despite your best intuition, you decided to let him continue.

"No, he never ever hit any of us or anything like that. But, he was really angry for a very long time. And Momma—she was so sad. It took a long time for that to go away."

"Can you get to your point, please?" You were biting back tears at this point, wishing that he would just finish up the pity party and leave you be.

"I never want to let anything like that happen to you or Jungkook ever again. I think that's what I need to do to make it all better, to make sure that you guys are safe and happy." He looked up at you, a tear falling down his reddened cheek, his eyes a shade of pale pink. He was right. You could definitely see the sadness in someone's eye.

"What if I'm not happy?"

You were tired of Jimin's superhero complex. He had no justification in stripping you of your right to feel pain—as if you had a choice, as if he could actually protect you from the pit of sadness that you contained within your chest. The pain that you willingly ignored on a daily basis. The pain that had become so easy to forget about, if people, such as your dumb brother, would stop poking holes into the wall you built around it, allowing it to slowly flood out. You knew that soon the whole structure would collapse, every emotion flooding through the break, consuming your entire being, leaving you as a pathetic, pitiful, absolute mess.

"You're not happy?" he spoke as if he was surprised.

"Are you that oblivious?" Your voice was raised at this point, a tear now falling down your cheek. "No! I'm not happy! It feels like you're holding me back with all these rules. Like I can't actually be myself. Like I should be ashamed of the things I want. Like you can't trust me to have a mind of my own—to protect myself. Like you think it's possible for me to be happy without the notion of sadness in my life!" You pounded your fists against the bed. You were really crying at this point.

It took a lot for something this drastic to happen to you—for you to lose control like that. It felt super wrong for you to feel so vulnerable, even if it was just in front of your brother.

"If you want to keep wearing your rose-colored glasses... yeah, sure, go ahead. But, I'm not. I can't—not anymore," you spat, contempt rising heavily in your tone.  

The silence spread throughout the room. Your fingertips dug into your knees as you stared blankly at the wall. You knew Jimin was looking toward you, mouth agape, unsure of how exactly to respond to your sudden outburst.  His presence was making you increasingly uncomfortable.

"Get out, please."

He reached for your hand, which you quickly pulled away.

"I can't leave you like this knowing that it's all my fault and—" the words escaped his mouth at a recklessly fast pace.

"Gosh! You can't control everything! Could you just let it—" you cut him off, unwilling to hear him out, unfortunately having your retort cut off instead.

Jungkook peered in through the doorway, headset on.

"Hey, could you two maybe keep it down? I'm playing with Hoseok-hyung and it's kind of embarrassing. Everyone in the whole damn world can hear you two screaming at each other."

When he got a good look at both of your faces, his attitude seemed to change. You glared at him, similar to the way you glared at Jimin.

"Oh shit, um—just stop yelling... maybe? Okay thanks, ehh... bye." He made his speedy, yet awkward exit. You turned back to Jimin.

"I'm no longer in the mood for this conversation. You need to leave."

Jimin sighed, looking into your eyes. You could see the sincerity, the love, and the worry beneath his gaze. 

You didn't give a shit. You were tired, and he needed to go.

He finally obliged and exited your room. You closed the door behind him, locking it promptly.

You crawled into your bed and cried a bit before drifting off to sleep. 

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// A/N: Please consider leaving a vote if this made your heart hurt (it surely made mine) or if you just like the story !! //

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