love, it's weird.

2 : kai

as i'm just about to leave english, i her a tap on my shoulder.
"kawaii kai what's wrong?"
it's jordon, i only have two guy friends, unless you count hayden's boyfriend, but he doesn't come to this school.
"nothing jordon. i'm fine, seriously."
i pull out my phone.
"she broke up with you, didn't she?"
"what?"
he pulls my phone out of my hand
"kai, she's not your lock screen, and the date you started dating was your passcode. you said to zoe the only way that will change, is if she breaks up with you."
"jordon it happened 3 weeks ago.. just leave it, please?" he nods in understanding and i hug him as i know obviously right now he's all i've got in order of emotional help.
"KAI! wait up!" a hear a familiar voice but cant make out who it is over all these idiots in the halls. and then i see angie break through the crowd
"shit ang i'm sorry, it's lunch now, that's why the crowds are bigger than usual." i feel jordon jolt my arm
"oh fuck, angie, meet jordon, jordon, meet angie. she's the new girl from.... kentucky?"
"correct again mr kai" she giggles and gives that damn smile, it's just, i don't know what it is about the smile but, wow.
"ding ding ding!" we all laugh and jordon hugs angie, as he's a huggy person
"so angie! you single? you gay? you like kai? he's single too omgggg"
"JORDON" i jump on his back and cover his mouth
"ignore him, he's a twat" then i get a smack on the back of my head
"OW!" i scream
"you deserve it, get off of jordon you big bully." zoe looks at me with the look our mum gave us when we ate three trays of brownie that one time, whoops...
"zoe, go fuck thy-lewis" i wink at her
"go fuck thy-nyla carrot" i feel my chest cave in.. god i need to tell them..
"DONT CALL ME CARROT" i cross my arms in defeat and zoe introduces herself to angie, probably over hearing anything i said to jordon.
"guys where's hayden?" i realise the only other person isn't actually here
"excluded, got in a- he lashed out at a teacher" zoe smiles. what about what she said makes me not believe her.
"he's a twat kai, we know this, nowwww an we go eattttt, pleaseeee" jordon pleads and we start to walk towards the cafeteria
i feel a hand grab my arm and look down.
"i'm sorry, i don't like crowded places.." angie lets go and looks down. i grab her hand.
"it's okay, neither do i."
we walk holding hands till we get to the cafeteria where zoe gives me a weird look, and i throw bad the 'dont ask' look.

***

"CLASS DISMISSED!"
i pack my notebook and pencils back into my bag after the bell rings, i see angie in the back of the class packing her things. i walk towards her and realise the confusion on her face
"either you've lost something, or didn't understand anything in that lesson"
"2nd option please." i start to laugh and i grab her hand again. why do i keep doing that..
"well, i'm your tutor, and i did all this at home, so, if you want, you can come to mine and i can help you out?" we start to walk out of class and i notice people looking, but brush it off and continue to walk out the school gates
"that would be great, will your sister be there? it's not an issue just, wondering" she stops and rummages through her bag
"nah nah, i have the house to myself, our mum bought it for us, when she adopted me, but zoe is at lewis all the time, i doubt that will change today, what you looking for?"
"my car keys... ah. got them"
"you have a car?" i ask in disbelief
"yeah" she presses the button on her keys "jump in" i open the boot of the car and place my skateboard in.

"i just need to go home quick to tell my mum, she won't mind."
i sit in the passenger seat and look at her as she starts the car. not gonna lie, she's fucking gorgeous. her hair falls perfectly over her shoulder and she definitely doesn't need the makeup, i like how she did her uniform, with the fishnets and stuff. she's just, cute.
"are you done staring at me kai?"
"shit i'm sorry" i look away towards the window blushing. god i'm such an idiot.

the rest of the car ride is pretty silent. till she pulls up to her house. it's huge jesus fuck.
"come meet my mum" she smiles and unbuckles her seat belt.
i step out of the car and follow her in
"still need me to hold your hand?" i wink and smile.
"i think my mum would be more confused than me about what's happening here"
"wait wh-"
"mum! i'm home! come meet my new friend!"
"one second sweetie"
she sets her bag down and walks to her fridge opening it and grabbing out two glass bottles of coke and passed one to me. i see a woman walk down the stairs and she hugs angie then turns to me.
"hello dear, i'm angela's mother, what's your name?"
"i'm kairo, ma'am, but everyone calls me kai, it's nice to meet you, you have a very nice house." i stop when i notice angie nudging me.
"sorry i ramble.."
"it's okay, kai, so what's wrong dear?"
they trail off into the conversation about studying at my house and i admire theirs, and when i turn my head to the american flag on the wall, i giggle.
they finish and say their "i love yous"

***

we come up to my house and i jump
out the car to get my skateboard and i walk to the front door, i hear angie lock the car and follow behind.
"excuse the mess, let's just go to my room, it's cleaner than down here."
she turns to me
"you smoke?"
"uh. yeah.. is that a problem?"
"god no, i've needed a cigarette for months but my mom found out, can i have one?" she asks with a happy expression.
"sure" i hand her the packet of cigarettes that was left on the coffee table and she placed one between hers, and my own lips. i pull the lighter between us and it lights both. we make our way upstairs and i open my bedroom door.

"ah, so uh.. i wasn't actually confused, i just wanted to get to know you better, is that okay?" she sits on the bed and takes a puff.
"yeah, sure, i don't mind, what music do you listen to?" i ask with a smile
"country" she smiles back
there's something in my body telling me to kiss her. why? NO IDEA BRAIN STOP. nyla broke up with me 3 weeks ago and i'm finally over her, ish. i only cried today because she has a girlfriend and i only just found out. i'm ready to move on, i know i am. but i cant with the new girl, she just got here and.. i don't know.. do i even like her?
"hunter hayes okay?"
"thank god"
i turn on my stereo and connect it to my spotify as i click on "i want crazy" by hunter.
she starts to hum along and the feeling gets stronger.
why do i want to kiss her? no doubt she's fucking cute but no kai. you cant.
"kai, whose nyla?"
"um, my ex, we broke up awhile ago, zoe doesn't know, only you and jordon do"
"shit i'm sorry, i just needed to ask"
"whys that?" the feeeeeling.
"because zoe mentioned her earlier and i didn't get it"
"oh that's fine. wanna do something other than sitting here awkwardly?"
"why don't we watch a movie?"
"please tell me you like horror" i'm a huge fan of horror and i love the work of wes craven with the nightmare on elm street series. i just hope she likes horror, since it's all i got.
"understatement my dear dork." oh thank god.
i make my way across the room to my film shelves and grab out nightmare on elm street and freddy vs. jason and i hold them up to her
"1 or 2"
"2, ive always wanted to watch it" she smiles and giggles
"thank god you're not a pussy"
"shut up put it in and lay with me silly."
"that whole sentence sounds so wrong."
we both laugh and sit back against my headboard.