Midnight Thoughts (Poetry)

As Broken As I Am

So this is a little different.

Not how I usually write poems but dunno it just turned out to be this way and I am kinda of proud of it. 

"So what's your deal?" He said smirking down at me, his eyes sparkling with curiosity. 

"What do you mean? I am just your ordinary next-door poet." I gave him a small smile and looked at the view below me. There were people walking down the park with their dogs, too caught up in their routine to even notice us up here.

"Come on, voice out your deepest thoughts. Tell me something nobody knows about you. Scare me away with how astonishing your mind really is. Spill me out the wonder of you. Show me the chaos of your soul." He said all the while looking into my eyes intensely, as if looking for something behind them, my truth.

I looked up to the sky, oh how mesmerizing it always is and then I tilted my head so that I could meet his gaze. And at that moment, I felt spontaneous. 

"Well, I love watching the sunset. 

I like to forget about the rest of the world 

and what's happening around me 

and just lose myself in it. 

Let it sink me into those pastel colors

that dress it every evening. 

That's the closest I get 

to become part of something beautiful.

But sometimes I forget about 

the red and yellow hues,

the pink and purple stains

and I stick around

until I am only left 

with shades of blue.

Drifting into them

I slowly become one.

And I stare at the night sky 

and wonder

if something that beautiful

feels as dark and empty as I do.

Sometimes when poetry

just doesn't fucking cut it

the silence 

speaks to my shadows.

When my soul dies

from time to time

and my mind follows

into an abyss

and my heart

tells me to go fuck myself

I look up to the sky

and I think that maybe

I am not just a poet 

who can't fucking sleep

Maybe I am more than that

Or maybe

it's just as broken 

as I am."

Hope you liked it as much as I did.
Wanna say sorry again for being inactive here due to Anatomy exams but the first is down and hopefully, tomorrow's one is gonna be great too XD

Xoxo
Amalia