Personal Assistant (Ryden)

Chapter twenty-one

Ryan presses send on one of the final emails he has and takes a deep, relieved breath. Brendon's working. He hasn't spoken to Ryan that much, not since he held him close. For once in the past two and a half months, Ryan has nothing to do. His phone begins to ring, and his heart sinks when he realizes that it's the hospital. He answers it, bringing it up to his ear as he stands.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Mr. Ross?"

"Yes, that's me?"

"I'm afraid we have some bad news, this involves your grandmother. She passed away this morning-"

That's all Ryan needs to hear for everything to shatter in his body. 

His heart shatters, his mind shatters, his mood shatters, everything shatters. Tears well up in his eyes and suddenly the air is thick and he can't breathe. 

"Mr. Ross?"

"Sorry, what?"

"We were saying that she left a will and says everything will go to you and all of her money stored in the bank has been put onto your card. We understand that you will be away for a while, so just call us to let us know when you are back to plan a funeral or burial, and to retrieve her deposits and collectibles."

"Yes, thank you," he says before hanging up. He can't breathe, he's holding his breath and shaking horribly. He tries to do something, to scream, to sob, but all that happens is him throwing his phone across the room and turning, running his fingers through his hair. The phone shatters but he doesn't care anymore. His chest is aching. She's gone. She's actually gone.

"Well," Brendon's voice causes him to jump and turn around, "that's one way to take your anger out." 

Brendon looks up at him, heart sinking when he realizes just how much Ryan is crying, but Ryan looks down. He hurries past him, arm almost harshly hitting his as Ryan rushes out the room.

He ends up running outside, somewhere where no one can see him, and he falls to his knees. He screams loudly, painful and sad and scared. His heart hurts so much right now that it's suffocating. There's a fire in his lungs, burning his throat and he's choking on the smoke. He screams again, screaming "no" and "why" and just screaming more and more until he bursts into a painful sob. Spencer, Dallon, Linda, and Sarah all see him and run up to him. Sarah kneels down, wrapping her arm around him.

"Ryan, babe, what's wrong?" Sarah asks. Ryan looks up, now noticing the others.

"I don't want-... I can't do this anymore," he barely chokes out, tears streaming down his cheeks so fast that he can hardly think.

"No, no, we're gonna help you, okay?" Sarah tells him sadly.

"I don't wanna be helped anymore," he says immediately. 

"What happened?" Dallon asks carefully.

"She's gone," Ryan says, making direct eye contact with Spencer. He knows who. Ryan knows he knows because he can see the pain strike him. Spencer tries to speak but nothing comes out. 

Dallon makes them get up and go inside and Ryan looks down, biting his lip as they walk. Sarah, Spencer, and Ryan sit on Sarah's bed, Dallon and Linda on the floor. It hurts more than anything, Ryan just sitting there with his heart aching. 

Ryan has so many people and yet he has no one.

The one person.

The one person who saved him repeatedly growing up, just gone like that. 

He falls off of the bed, lands on his knees on the ground, and he screams again. He screams as loud and long as he can because this is the most pain he's ever felt, then immediately breaks into another painful, heartbreaking sob. Sarah gets down and holds him and he cries into her shoulder.

Someone knocks on the door. Spencer gets up to open it. Sarah continues to whisper to Ryan, occasionally kissing his head. Her soft, delicate hands are in his hair, thumb rubbing slowly. Her other hand is around him, also comforting. If he closes his eyes and blocks everything else out, he can remember his grandma doing the same thing. This makes him cry harder, burying his face into her.

"Is he okay? We heard screaming," Tyler asks carefully. Ryan hears it, someone familiar, but he can't focus enough on something other than her, other than the only true family he had left.

"He'll be alright, it's... he'll be okay," Spencer says.

"It's gonna be okay, Ry. You've got this. You can do it, you're gonna rock the rest of your long, eventful life, and you're not gonna let this ruin you, okay? I've got you, you're gonna be okay," Sarah says softly. There's more than one person at the door now. Anxiety is filling Ryan's whole body and he begins to shake. Sarah notices it, then looks up.

"There's too many people," she says simply, and Ryan thanks god his best friend is here because other wise he'd be screaming some more. He holds onto Sarah tightly, and Dallon and Spencer say a few hushed words before deciding to leave. Sarah asks Dallon for a few things, and considering her saying 'thank you', Ryan's gonna guess that he agreed. 

"Babe, look at me," Sarah says, but he doesn't wanna pull away just yet. Ryan does unwillingly after she gently pushes his shoulder. She places her hand on the side of his face, cupping his jaw carefully. "Who's gone?"

"My... my grandma," he says quietly, voice hurting from all the screaming he just did. Sarah's expression drops, but she makes them sit back on their bed. Ryan takes his shoes and socks off, as does she, and they get under the covers because he's freezing. Sarah grabs her laptop and opens it, reaching over and covering the window with the black out curtains that make the whole room go dark. She pulls up a movie on her laptop. Ryan rests his head on her shoulder again and she continues to hold him. 

The door opens and Dallon comes in with two drinks. Ryan grabs one, holding the slightly hot cup between his frozen fingers. He also brought some food, a small bowl of what looks to be chicken and pasta, and Ryan feels more sick looking at food right now. Yet, somehow, he knows that Sarah will make him eat it. 

"Thank you, why don't you stay with us?" Sarah says.

"I would, but someone's gotta take care of Brendon," he says, and guilt rises up in Ryan's chest. Ryan sits up. 

"I'm sorry, I should make sure he doesn't need anything. I... I'm sorry-"

"No, you stay," Dallon tells me, pointing at him.

"But-"

"Brendon's your boss therefore I'm sort of your boss." Dallon raises an eyebrow and Sarah makes Ryan lay back again. He looks at Dallon sadly. He feels guilty because he knows that Brendon's gonna need some new things done.

"Stay," Dallon says again, so he hesitantly lays back with a sigh. "Even if he does need you, he'll have to deal. I'm taking your job for the day. Now, make sure he relaxes and maybe take a nap. You need sleep, this is really emotional and it's already drained you." 

Ryan just nods. Sure, yeah, whatever makes you think he'll ever be okay again.

Dallon smiles sadly and leaves the room, closing the door behind him. Ryan relaxes into Sarah, head pounding and heart aching.