[CLOSED] The Undiscovered Gems Competition (UGC) - 2014

1. Gold: Mirror Mirror by fantita495

Whatpad Name: fantita495

Tittle: Mirror Mirror

Genera(s): Mystery/ Thriller, Teen Fiction

Personal Message to the audience:

Hey everyone! I'm super psyched that I got shortlisted in this competition and in order to make it further, I really need your help. I would really love it if you could all please take a look at my story and if you like it please vote for it in THIS chapter! Thank you! x

  

Synopsis: 

Mirror, mirror on the wall.

Who wants revenge on them all?

I do. I do.

And I shall.

  

     That threatening inscription the police had found on her wall was all that was left of Becky McCarter. That and the stories, Hazel Summers, her first and last victim would tell.

  

Prologue: 

    Today I attended Becky McCarters’ wake. I had no choice since my dad was best friends with her father. Even though she tried to kill my best friend, Hazel, I felt bad that she died. Not for her, but for her grieving parents who would never get answers, who would always blame themselves for what happened and wonder what they did wrong.

     Mrs. McCarter took one look at Becky’s corpse and burst out into a fresh set of tears, which rang through the polite, yet strained chatter that had previously filled the room. Mr. McCarter had to hold his frail wife to keep her from crumpling to the floor. I spent most of the gray afternoon watching raindrops angrily beating against the window, while everyone else either solemnly tried to console the McCarters or gave Becky’s corpse a disappointed glance. I couldn’t even believe this many people had showed up, considering what Becky had done, but I guess it was more out of sympathy for the McCarters than anything else. She was their only child after all.

     I sighed and headed over to take a look at Becky in her golden casket. Pale. Breathless. Harmless. Her usually shiny, slightly voluminous chocolate brown hair was now limply sprawled around her oval shaped face. Her vibrant pink lips that were always turned up in a smile were now dull and formed an uncharacteristic frown. Her once sparkling dark brown eyes were now shut; permanently. Her lifeless body looked so innocent. It was hard to believe that inside that once cheerful body was a disturbed, vicious soul, but then again it’s hard to believe that there is a disturbed, vicious soul in anybody. She was to be buried later that evening in a private ceremony. And although that was the last of Becky McCarter, her inscribed words haunted me:

Mirror, mirror, on the wall.

Who wants revenge on them all?

I do. I do.

And I shall.

>>>Click the external link on the right hand side to take you to the full story<<<

  

Panel Comments: 

Beckyking87: “A great story, full of suspense.”

cookiesandteawithme: “very interesting and I think the story would have been better if it ended before the author decided to continue the story and help Becky out of jail. It made her seem more of a psychopath, but after that I felt like the author was trying to elongate the story.”

viogirl9: “This was definitely my favorite of the eight. It had great descriptions and the suspense was created effectively.”