Undiscovered Writings

Entry 23

"You're worthless!"
"No cares of your existence!"
"You will never be what you dream to be!"
"Kill yourself!"
"Die!!"

I hear them again, over and over and it makes me sick. Time comes like this that I hear them all of a sudden and they kept on telling me how worthless I am, that I am no one, I won't make it, I should end my life. This is my crutial time and in times like this I lost the sense of right and wrong, the sense of right judgement. I hate it when this time comes, when I hear them, when they won't stop and there's nothing I can do about it.

"Just die you worthless piece of shit!!"

I covered my ears hoping that I won't hear the voices anymore but no I was wrong, "Die! Die! Die!" it says repeatedly. "STOP!!!!" I shouted, I wanted to cry but I can't why would I? I'm a man I won't cry but it's too much I don't know how long am I going to be able to convince myself that ending my life is not the solution. I silently prayed that the voices disappear, I haven't slept since yesterday I can't close my eyes I don't want to it scares me. I remember what happened last month when I was at the same situation it was the worst night of my life.

*flashback*

"DIE!!"
"END YOUR WORTHLESS LIFE"
"NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU"

I covered my ears, they here again. I'm at home alone and feeling helpless. No one is here to help me I only have myself, only myself. I decided to lay down on my bed and immediately my eyes closed but then I regret it. I saw myself alone in a room full of mirrors there are dark figures they're too many. I hear voices, it's the same voices who kept telling me to end my life. The voices gets louder and louder, closer and closer into my ears. The figures moves towards me, my heart is pounding real hard on fear I can even hear it beating wildly.

*end of flashback*

Since then I got scared to sleep whenever I hear the voices, I know they'll follow me in my dreams. I don't know what to do anymore then I suddenly remember you. I walked out of my room and head down the stairs. I called you "hello?" you said when you answered I inhaled before I speak "Lacy, help me..." I sounded tired and desparate there was a few seconds of silence before you answered and said "I'm coming".  I sitted at the couch and waited for you remembered how you've became my friend, I can still remember how you helped me countless times when my worst day comes. A buzz was heard at my whole pad and stood up and head to towards the door I opened it and saw you "Lacy they won't stop" you suddenly wrapped your arms around me and I felt the needto cry but I tried my best not to, you said "I'm here Adam, I'm here now". I didn't speak I just nodded felt relieve 'cause finally someone is here to help me. You let go of the hug and looked at me "Now, let's get rid of those demons, shall we?".