We Got Married!

Twenty-Four

James

Binuksan ko yung email ko, at binasa ulit yung huling sulat niya.

James, by the time you read this, baka wala na ako sa tabi mo. By the time you read, baka napuno na ng galit yang puso mo, pero I'm begging you, please don't hate me. I'm doing this for you naman eh, I'm leaving for us. Sa sobrang pagmamahal ko sayo, iniwan kita para hindi ka mahirapan. Naguguluhan ka na ba? I can't explain everything to you, and I won't. I'm letting you go James, but know that you will always be my love, always. I'm not asking you to wait for me, pero, pwede ba? Can you wait for me? Ano ba 'tong sinasabi ko, biro lang, I'm letting you go tapos biglang wait for me, ang weird ko! Hahaha! James, take care of the kids. They must hate me right now, but they will always have a place sa puso ko. Mahal na mahal ko kayo, always remember that. Goodbye James.

"Pasalamat ka martyr ako. Kung hindi, baka matagal na kitang pinalitan. Sa pogi 'kong 'to."

Ginulo ko ang buhok ko at ininom yung beer na hawak hawak ko. Ano ba nangyayari sa akin? Akala ko okay na ako. Akala ko masaya na ako. Pero sa tuwing naaalala ko siya, sumasakit pa rin. Aalis siya ng paalam, pero sa tingin niya ba di ko malalaman yung rason kung bakit siya umalis?

Maraming koneksyon ang pamilya ko, nung umalis siya, dalawang araw ang nakalipas, nalaman ko rin yung rason.

Kaya heto ako ngayon, nagpapakatanga, hinihintay pa rin siya. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung may babalik pang Anna eh.

Mae

"Mae? Gising ka pa?" Jill

"Gising na gising pa." sabi ko

Hindi ako mapakali, kanina pa. Halata naman kay Kuya na si Ate pa rin yung mahal na mahal niya eh. Obvious masyado!

"Sino ba kasing tanga ang nag bring up ng issue tungkol sa nakaraan?" tanong ko

"Lalim nun ah. Nakaraan. Hahaha." Jill

"Pero, sa tingin mo? Babalik pa kaya si Ate?"

"I don't know. Pero you know what, I envy Ate a lot, hanggang ngayon kasi, siya pa rin yung nasa puso ni Kuya James." Jillian

"Korek, siguro kung ibang lalaki yun, sinumpa na niya si Ate."

"There has to be a reason pa rin, right?" Jillian

"Oo naman."

"Ahh basta ako, I cannot picture Kuya James with anyone else but her. Kaya sana, bukas bumalik na siya." Jill

"Bukas talaga Jill? You're praying for a miracle."

"No, I'm just praying in general haha. I'll sleep na nga, goodnight." Jill

"Goodnight."

Basta ako, kung saan masaya si Kuya James, susuportahan ko siya. Wala naman siyang ginawa kung hindi ang suportahan at alagaan kami eh. Kahit gusto 'kong magalit at pagsabihan siya na mag hanap na ng iba, I'll respect his decision. Nagmamahal lang siya, nasasaktan, pero lumalaban, at naghihintay.

Kim

Kanina pa ako hindi mapakali. Katatapos ko lang mag shower, hinihintay 'kong matapos si Isaiah, hindi ko alam pero ang sama ng kutob ko eh. Parang may mangyayaring hindi maganda.

Pagkatapos niya, nahiga na rin kami.

Ano ba! Bakit ganito mga tao ngayong gabi?! Kanina lang ang saya saya namin. And now? Para kaming namatayan.

"You wanna talk about it love?"

"Hmmh?" napamulat ako

"C'mon, hindi ako sanay na ganito ka. There's a problem, you wanna talk about it?"

"Ano ka ba, walang problema. I just feel bad for my brother."

"What happened when she left?"

"Well, like any other broken hearted guys, he drank his way out of the pain. Nag kulong siya sa kwarto, pinabayaan namin siya. Minsan, naririnig ko lang siya na umiiyak ng malakas sa gabi, tapos sisigaw, tapos itatapon niya yung bote ng alak sa dingding. Wala sila Mommy nung mga oras na yun, they didn't know what was happening. One week ko ring tiniis si Kuya, they said to give it time, but he wasn't eating anything and I was so worried, kaya tinawagan ko si Daddy, they went home right away, and when they couldn't persuade him to come out, sinira nila yung pintuan ng kwarto niya. His room was a mess, there were broken glass everywhere, beer cans on the floor, at yung salamin sa kwarto niya, basag. He tried to kill himself."

This story. I never mentioned to anyone, even my friends. Hindi nila alam kung paano sinaktan ni Kuya yung sarili niya. Muntikan na nasira yung relasyon namin bilang mag pamilya.

"But my Kuya was strong, he got over it. When he realized what was happening, he thought it was too late. But it wasn't. He built himself up again, and I thought he was over Ate Anna, pero hindi pala. He still loves her."

"What are you gonna do about it now?" tanong niya

I smiled at him, "Nothing. I didn't understand it before, why he kept on holding on to someone who isn't there anymore. But now I understand, kapag nawala ka ng bigla, I wouldn't let you go. Kahit hindi ka na bumalik, a part of me will always hope for you, a part of me will always love you. I understand now, so I'm gonna let my brother continue waiting, because that's what I would do if you leave me. Wait."

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