We Got Married!

Thirty-Three

Renz

"I know you still love her Renz, that's why I'm giving her to you."

"Cassandra, are you crazy?"

"No. I'm just being practical. I love him, you love her. We both get what we want, fabulous, right?"

"That's why you're here." 

"Kuya Renz, bakit? Why would you do this?"

"Because I love you. I have loved you ever since we first met, ever since we first talked, ever since you gave me the sweetest smile I've ever seen, and I loved you even when we were a part. I loved you even when I left you, I have not stopped loving you since then, and I am not stopping now." 

"And if you really do love me, you'll let me go. Because that's how love works Kuya, you have to let those you cannot have free."

"That's called being selfless, pero pag dating sayo, I can be the most selfish man in the world. Fvck look at me, lahat ng sakit nakakaya, kahit sapakin, gulpihin, saksakin pa ako ng mga kalaban ko. Naiinda ko yung sakit, dahil malakas ako. But when it comes to you, I go soft."

"Mahal kita Kuya, but not in the way you do."

"I know."

"Then let me go."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"She has your son."

I saw her face, the way she looked, and my heart broke for her.  Akala ko tapos na akong masaktan dahil sa kanya, akala ko wala na akong nararamdaman para sa kanya. Pero tangina nung nakita ko siya uli, parang bumalik lahat, pati ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya. It's like every single pain I've felt ever since I was young till now, I felt all the pain, all at the same time. And to see her with her son, and to hear her talk about Nathan, hahaha. I've been hurt a dozen times before pero knowing that I can't have Kim? Shit.

I want to let her go, badly. Pero hindi ko pa kaya.

And if lying about the condition of her son is what takes to keep her with me, even for just a while? Then I'll gladly do just that. 

Jeroam

Isang linggo na ang nakalipas mula ng wala si Kim at Lucas, ilang araw na rin kaming hindi nakakarinig ng balita galing kay Kuya, nag aalala na kaming magkakaibigan, lalo na ako bilang kapatid niya.

I've never seen Kuya like this. Out of all of us, siya ang pinakamatibay, siya yung tipo ng tao na hindi sumusuko, na hindi pinapakita na mahina siya. 

Pero simula ng mawala si Kim at si Lucas, para bang nawala lahat ng sigla sa mukha niya. 

Isang tingin mo lang sa kanya, mababalot na ng awa ang buong katawan mo. Yung tipong, gusto mong tumulong pero hindi mo alam kung paano. Kasi yung isang bagay na magpapabalik ng sigla sa kanya, wala ka. 

Umabot na rin sa halos tatlong milyon yung ransom kay Kim at Lucas. Madaming tumatawag, pero wala rin naman. 

Nung minsan na bumisita ako sa kanila, nakita ko si Kuya, nakatingin lang sa cellphone niya, naka-on din yung TV sa sala, sa kusina, sa kwarto niya. Lahat nasa channel ng news. He hasn't had a proper meal in over a week, nangangayayat na siya. Kita sa expression niya yung sobrang pagod dahil sa kulang sa tulog. Pinipilit ko siyang magpahinga muna at ako muna ang manunuod, pero ayaw niya.