Adam [BOOK ONE]

X

2 months. 3 weeks. 4 days.

That was the last time I had seen Adam. His hair caressing his face, his eyes red with tears as we sat on Dr. Baker's porch and he poured his heart out to me. I saw so much pain in his eyes, mixed with the lingering feelings of guilt. Honestly, I never thought I would be in this position. Caring so much about a troubled man that I was willing to neglect the law for his sake.

Here I was though, miles away from where ever Adam was with him still circling through my mind. I shook my head, picked up my coffee, and took a long sip. This was my new life, working in a juvenile detention center and helping kids work through their problems. I questioned myself, was I actually good enough to help anyone? I wasn't sure I had helped Adam, in the end, he did leave, but he seemed happier. Freer.

I checked the watch on my wrist, it was almost time for group therapy. It was both my least favorite and the most favorite thing of the day. When the kids opened up to me and wanted to talk, the sessions turned out to be amazing. When their doors closed though, it was a long and tiring session that seemed to drain on forever. That was the thing about kids, mixing puberty with the problems they suffered internally made for interesting outcomes. Some of the kids here don't read, some don't speak, some just stay in their corners and wait and some go out of their way to make this place seem like some sort of camp instead of a jail for young people. It was the most intriguing thing, the differences in how they adjusted, how they prepared themselves to either go home or be moved to an adult jail.

"How are you guys today," I crossed my legs as the usual faces joined the group. There was Anna and Blake, a brother and sister duo who made their money from scamming and stealing. Then Robert sat in the corner, he was a hot head that felt his hands could do more talking than his mouth ever could. Josiah, the quiet plotter, sat on the other end of the small circular table. And Matt, the tall, linky, boy who only said a few words sat across from me. I couldn't quite figure him out, he was talkative enough, but very quiet when he felt he was giving too much information away.

"Fine," Matt whispered. Robert rolled his eyes, Anna flipped her hair over her shoulder, and Blake looked up at the ceiling as if he wanted to die.

"Well, anything interesting happening lately? I want to hear from you guys today?"

"I got into a fight," Robert inspected his hand that I noticed was wrapped in a white bandage as he said it.

"Over what?"

"He called my mom a hoe, I made him my bitch."

"Do you feel better?"

He paused, "I don't know."

"I bet you don't. You thought hitting him would make you feel better, but his words got to you. Words do more damage than fist will ever do. Now, if he had said the things he said and you brushed them off, how do you think you would have felt?"

"And let him disrespect my family? Fuck that, he got what he deserved."

"I'm not saying let people walk over you, I'm saying relieve them of their power. Now, in the back of his mind, he's saying 'yeah my face hurts, but I know how to keep him in the place forever. He can't control his temper so all I have to do is say something hurtful and he's going to hit me.' That's what power looks like, that's what give people when we allow their words to control us in a manner in which we feel uncontrollable or helpless. I know being peaceful isn't cool, especially here, but try it sometime."

"Is it like that dude," Josiah looked up from playing with his fingers, "Adam? He killed that guy, but I bet he didn't feel better. You worked with him right?"

"I did and I don't know whether he did it or not, but I can tell you that holding on to stuff that long isn't healthy."

"That forgive and forget shit is wack, how can he ever forgive some dude who killed his whole family? I don't ever forget shit or forgive shit."