Stay With Me ✔

7.

Rave

On the way home I couldn't wipe the smile from my face and I could still feel Kylie's hand in mine even though she was miles away. I could still picture the way she looked as she sat beside me, studying and watching my every move as I tried my best to explain to her why I did what I did. I don't know if she'll ever forgive me, if we'll ever get back to the way we were and maybe even beyond that - hopefully beyond that. 

All I know is that Kylie gave me a second chance, a chance to do what I should have done all those months ago, a chance to show her how much she means to me. I was so stupid to have given her up and I won't let myself make that same mistake again - not unless it's what she wants. I'm not afraid to try again, to open up someone again, to trust someone again. Not if that someone is Kylie. 

Kylie is sweet, kind, and quiet but intimidating. She has doe like eyes that make her look innocent and childlike, but they hold so much emotion that they could burn a hole right through you or bring you to your knees. Her hair was longer the last time we spoke and became friends, but I like the shoulder length cut and the highlights better, it frames her face and shows how sharp and naturally beautiful her features are. Ever since the first time I held her hand, I've been amazed at how someone so small and petite fits so perfectly when tucked into my side or when our hands are entwined. 

I meant what I said to Kylie about Lexy and I being done. Lexy was livid when I broke up with her, she screamed at me, called me names, and threatened to expose my secrets to Kylie. I know she would never tell Ky anything because she wouldn't want me to spill anything that I know about her, so for now I felt good about being able to tell Kylie on my own time.

The thing about Lexy though, is that even though she's far from a princess, that's exactly what she sees herself as. Lexy can be kind and understanding, she's helped me through a lot over the past few years, but that's the side that she doesn't want anyone to see. She doesn't want anyone to know she has weak spots, that she can be vulnerable, and that her guard comes down. No, Lexy wants to be feared, to be seen as a threat, and for no one to know who she really is under all that make up, tight clothes, and head cheerleader title. 

Lexy and I were never the perfect couple. From day one there were issues and problems, but we were there for each other when things were rough and we knew what each other didn't want anyone else to know, so we stayed together as a way to have someone to lean on and confide in. I loved Lexy and I think she loved me, but I don't know that we were ever in love with each other. Breaking up was for the best and Lexy knows that I'm right, but she's not the type of person who just lets things go and that's why I have a feeling she's going to make things hard on me. 

When I pull my car into the Pilot gas station at eleven thirty I'm relieved to see that there's not a lot of truckers there. I reach for the small duffel bag in my backseat and double check that I have everything before locking my car and going inside.

"Hey, Rave."

"Hey, Jan." I greet the middle aged woman behind the counter as I enter the station.

"Still no water at home?" She asks sympathetically.

"No, but I'm working on it."

I try to slide some wadded cash across the counter to her, but as usual Jan doesn't accept the payment. "You know I'm not going to accept that, kid. Now go to stall four before I give it to someone else." She gives me a smile and waves me away just as a customer comes through the door.

I walk down the short hallway until I reach stall number four, avoiding eye contact the whole way. There's been a few times where I've gotten some unwanted attention from a driver or even a time that one of them tried to rob me - joke was on him though because I don't have anything to take.

I sit my bag down on the bench just outside of the shower and start to undress. The water is never really warm here but I've gotten used to to cold because it's better than nothing. I know I could always shower at a friends house like my little sister does, but that raises questions, so I endure the ice cold shower and make it as quick as possible.

I towel off and don't bother with trying to comb my hair, letting it lay flat. Once I'm dressed, I check the time and realize it's almost midnight. I'm going to be late, so I stuff all my things back into my bag and hurry to my car, shouting a quick thank you and goodbye to Jan on my way out.

I get home fifteen minutes later and see Ever sitting on the front porch waiting for me. "Sorry I'm late."

"It's okay, at least you came back tonight." She stands and opens the door to the house. I follow her inside and we make our way to the living room, using nothing but the faint light coming through the window and memory to avoid tripping or running into anything.

"I'm also sorry I didn't come back last night." I sit my backpack and the shower bag on the floor by the couch and take a seat beside them.

"Were you at Lexy's?" I can hear the disapproval in my ten year old sister's voice.

"I wasn't with Lexy, Ever."

"Then where were you?" She crosses her arms and waits for my reply. Sometimes she acts so much like my parent that it makes me sad how fast she had to grow up.

"I stayed with Kylie."

The disapproving look fades and her arms uncross as she begins to softly clap, "Oh my God, yay! Does this mean she forgave you?"

Ever knows how I feel about Kylie and about everything that happened between the two of us - well almost everything. My sister played a huge role in me finally deciding to apologize to Ky, she's been Team Kylie ever since I first mentioned my new friend to her. I don't know the exact reason why Ever hates Lexy, but she does.

"She agreed to being friends. So that's a start, I guess."

"It is. And you had better not screw this up again, Rave." A yawn escapes her mouth and she tries to hide it.

"Okay, lets go to sleep, kiddo." I reach for the blankets at the foot of the couch and Ever lies down while I drape them over her.

I know midnight is a late for a ten year old to go to sleep, but a lot of things in our house are unfit for a ten year old. For example, a ten year old should live in a house with running water and electric, she should have her own room or at least a room. Ever should be able to feel safe in her own home, and she should have parents that are present and sober.

I throw another set of blankets and a pillow down on the floor beside her and just as I'm about to go to sleep, Ever whispers, "Rave, when can I meet Kylie?"

"I don't know. There's a lot I have to tell her, she doesn't know about dad or the house..."

"I don't think she'll run, Rave. Sometimes people are good."

"Lexy didn't run."

I can practically feel Ever rolling her eyes, "No, but she wasn't nice. She said mean things about us."

It was true, Lexy would make jokes about my situation. Sometimes I thought that she was just trying to make light of a bad situation, but then it would progressively get more and more cruel. I don't even know if she was aware that her words were hurtful, especially to Ever. 

"I don't think Ky would do that, Ev."

"I hope not. You really like her."

I don't try to argue, it would be pointless. "You'll really like her too."