Stay With Me ✔

23.

Rave wasn't at school the next day, so I had spent all night and morning thinking up ways to avoid him for nothing. When I pulled into the parking lot at school, I couldn't help but look over to the spot where his car us usually parked, and I half expected him to be waiting for me like it was a normal day, but he wasn't - he was nowhere to be seen.

I made my way across the lot and up the stairs to the double doors, my eyes scanning the crowd for his usual black t shirt and jacket or his hair sticking up above the crowd, but I never caught a glimpse of either. I thought I would be relieved that he's not here, but instead I'm disappointed and I don't know why. I'm still trying to make everything make sense and I feel like I'm only making things more complicated. 

Erin was on time, for once and was waiting at my locker with Whitley. They gave me sympathetic smiles and handed my my usual Starbucks order as an attempt to cheer me up. I had called them last night and told them everything that had happened since the moment I saw Lexy's name pop up on Rave's phone. Erin was sure that Rave was telling me the truth and thinks that I should trust him and let him explain more, but Whit thinks that I'm right to be cautious.

I don't know what to think.

 If something had happened with Lexy, I don't think Rave would have been as hurt and sound as sincere as he did last night. I just don't think he's that good of an actor, his feelings and words seemed honest to me. No matter how badly I want to believe him though, I can't get that nagging feeling that I'm just not enough, that this isn't the same for him as it is for me. I know I should give Rave more credit, I know that he's a better person than to string me along and use me - but that's the thing. I don't think he does it intentionally, I don't think he's aware.

"Chin up, Ky. Cruella at 3 o'clock." Erin's words bring me out of my thoughts and I look to my right, seeing nothing but an empty row of lockers and a poster about the upcoming Spirit Week. 

"She meant six o'clock." Whitley says, rolling her eyes at Erin, who just shrugs her shoulders and takes a long sip of her drink.

"Whatever, the bitch is coming this way." Erin says quiet enough so that only the three of us can hear. I stiffen a laugh as I hear the all too familiar clicking of heels approaching. Erin and Whitley are both looking behind me and I can feel Lexy's presence and smell her perfume as she stands behind me, clearing her throat impatiently as she waits for me to acknowledge her.

I turn around slowly, keeping my face emotionless so that I seem bored and un bothered by her standing with her arms crossed in front of me. "Can I help you, Lexy?"

"Nope. But I thought I could help you." There's no mean, harsh tone to her words and for a split second it's almost as if she's not the mean girl I know she is - only for a split second though, and then I come back to my senses.

"And what do I need your help with?"

She's wearing a pair of tight distressed skinny jeans, paired with a pair of heels that I can't even imagine going through an entire day in and a flowy cropped top that shows off her toned stomach. Meanwhile I'm wearing the same black jeans I wear every week, a pair of ratty Vans and a sweater two times my size over my old t shirt. I don't know why I bother comparing myself to her, she's always going to be the better option. 

Lexy rolls her eyes, clearly annoyed with me and possibly regretting her decision to approach me. "I think you know what - or who - I can help you with, Kylie." 

I narrow my eyes at her, ready to tell her that I don't need her help - not with Rave, not with anything. I'm sure she's up to something, why else would she be talking to me? She hates me, she's made that clear. "I don't need your help."