Stay With Me ✔

18.

Rave

Ever hasn't been home in three days. I had to call and ask her friend's mom if she could stay with them for the week, claiming that our dad had to go out of town for a family emergency and that I had to work a lot of hours and wouldn't be home until late. That last part isn't really a lie, I am working late a lot this week - like tonight for instance.

I didn't get to the Pilot station to take a shower until midnight, and when I showed up Jan gave me a sympathetic smile along with a free coffee. I guess the bags under my eyes are starting to show just how tired I am. Man, am I tired. Tired of having to come here to shower, tired of not being able have a home, tired of the way Ever is growing up, tired of everything. Earlier this week I fell asleep at the radio station where Kylie works and slept for hours. It was the best sleep I have had since that night I slept in her bed with her. 

Ever since my dad showed up with some "business colleagues" that he was allowing to stay at our house, I've been sleeping in my car while Ever stays with her friend, Haley. I don't know how long I can keep this up or how long our dad is going to be having his guests over, but soon people are going to start asking questions.  

My sister is doing a pretty good job at avoiding any unwanted attention, but I on the other hand am exhausted and teachers are starting to notice. Yesterday my English teacher asked if everything was alright at home and I had to force myself to hold in a yawn as I lied and told her everything was fine and that I just stay up late playing video games. She seemed to buy it, but my boss is beginning to think that I'm not in the state of mind I need to be to do my job and Kylie is beginning to worry more and more, which also leads to questions. 

I'm tired of questions, tired of dodging them, tired of hearing them. I just want to be able to live my life - even if it's shitty - with no interference from anyone else. I'm trying, I really am, and all the worried looks and questions are starting to make me feel like I'm failing even more so than I already do. 

After leaving the Pilot station I get in my car and drive to the park where Kylie and I met that night all those weeks ago and I apologized to her. That was the also the night that Kylie agreed to be my friend again and to give me a second chance. So far that second chance was going great and I found myself smiling at the thought of her and her doe like eyes. 

I can't believe I had shown up at her house drunk off my ass the night that my dad picked a fight with me over something stupid for the millionth time. Sometimes I can let his words roll off my back and other times he really gets under my skin. I don't even remember what we were fighting about that night, I just remember going to my friend Alec's house and getting trashed, the next thing I knew I was texting Kylie and then begging Alec to take me to her house. 

I get out of my car, which is parked at the far end of the parking lot, and climb into the backseat where I have a pillow and blanket. I've been sleeping in my car for the past three days and honestly, I don't get much sleep. My thoughts keep me awake, but so does the fact that my body is way too long to be comfortable curled up in the backseat of my car. I've tried sleeping in the front with the seat reclined, but that's even more uncomfortable. 

I hear my phone buzz from the front and I reach for it, seeing a name I definitely didn't expect to see on the screen. None the less, the message had me jumping out of the backseat and into the front. Within minutes I was back on the road, heading towards her house and trying to not imagine the worst. 

Lexy: Code Red. 

She probably thought I wouldn't come, we haven't really talked since the day I told her we were done for good. The only words we'd really said to each other since were at Tate's party. Right now though, none of that matters. Nothing Lexy has said or done matters because she needs me, and I have to be there, I have to make sure that she's okay.