It All Started With a Diary

aching feet

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"The best way to mend a broken heart is time and girlfriends." – Gwyneth Paltrow
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Chapter 13
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I was stuck in my spot.

I couldn't move; I couldn't breathe.

My stomach churned when Amber's mouth opened to release a moan of pleasure.

I had to get out of here. No, I needed to get out here.

Before I could bring any attention to myself, I spun on my heel. My feet had no trouble moving this time. All of my attention was directed to getting to the car.

I slammed Raven's door once I got inside. I wrapped my arms around my shaky body in order to order some type of comfort. I tried to hide the shock.

"Kimberly, what happened?" I heard Raven ask.

I couldn't answer. My breath hit into too many rocks and bumps, and it felt as if both of my lungs were being painfully squeezed.

Panic set in almost immediately as it hit me. I felt the pain coming, once the thought of Kade with her found its way back into my memory. But, I couldn't, for my dear sanity understand why. He was nothing to me besides my enemy.

"Kimberly?" I felt Raven's hand burn through my jean covered knee.

I jerked away from her as if I had seen a ghost.

She continued to try and comfort me. "Babe, I need you to tell me what happened. Or at least what's wrong, so I can help you. Please."

Her words went through one ear, and came out the other. I couldn't register what she said to me, yet her words still lingered around my brain. She wanted to help.

"Kade..." I couldn't get the words out, no matter how hard I tried.

The panic started out as a thin plastic bag smothering my bare face, like something my fingers could pluck breathing holes in. The way out was right there, but I couldn't reach it. Once I gave it a minute, the panic converted into the Pacific Ocean, overtaking my weak heartbeat, only climbing higher until it went pass my mouth and nose. That was when the attack became unbearable, like I had been underground for too long, like I had been endearing a storm and my body for shelter, for safety.

Raven's blurry face came closer to me. "Kimberly!"

My lips parted, just enough to release a choked sob. "I'm s-sorry." Raven was my first real friend, but I knew that was gone now. I was embarrassed, shameful for showing her this side of me. My own family hadn't even seen how bad the attacks got over the past years.

I felt the pressure of her hand on top of mine. "Hey, it's okay. Just breathe okay? You're okay, we're okay! See." She attempted a smile, motioning to the still car around us. "Take it slow, Kimberly. I'm right here with you."

Her words fought my panic attack in a world war. But, mine had been on the battlefield for far too long now. It wasn't going away without a fight, and I had ran out of that a long time ago.