One Bad Day

Unauthorized Escape

Harley's POV

It's been a whole week and Johnny still hasn't heard from Mistah J. He said a few days, not a week. I just couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Naturally I was fearing the worst, sedation, isolation...labotamy. The not knowing was killing me. Plus, I just couldn't fathom why in the world Mistah J wanted to stay in Arkham. I mean, why? What reason could he possibly have? It wasn't business. It simply made no sense, but nobody around here ever questions Mistah J but me.

Under the orders of Mistah J, the mansion has had workers in it all week converting one room into a hospital room. Johnny says it's for my ob/gyn exams, and to have the baby in. If necessary, should there be a problem, and a C-section be needed, it can also be a fully functional operating room. Leave it to my Mistah J to cover all the bases. He's a very meticulous planner. He leaves no room for error but still makes contingency plans all the same.

According to my female ob/gyn, Dr. Marquez, I'm about eight weeks pregnant. The baby is doing just fine. She showed it to me on a sonogram image, it was mostly just this big head and barely a body. I wish Mistah J could have been here to see it too. I don't know if he ever got to see such with his wife or not. Or if he remembers any of it if he did. But then, Mistah J might not be interested in this sort of thing at all.

This week I have read Mistah J's file forwards and backwards. I practically have it all memorized. I guess, for me, it sorta justified his behaviors. It practically defined his personality. He remembers very little of it, yet I feel like those memories that he does have are jumpled and confused. Maybe they're just put in the wrong order or shuffled like a deck of cards. Maybe it's possible to sort them out and make sense of them. However, that would only be achieved in therapy and Mistah J would never go through with therapy without literally having no other choice.

He just professed that our relationship was gonna change. That he "wanted" me, and wanted to actually try to show it. We were supposed to have been out celebrating the night he was arrested. I was looking forward to returning home to Ha-Hacienda that night. We would have made love till dawn. But thanks to Jim Gordon, I got cock blocked. I knew Mistah J would make him pay when he decides to escape Arkham. I just wished that he would hurry up.

What am I talking about?! It's a test! Mistah J is testing me! He's testing me to see how long it takes me to come for him! To see if I will! If I can!! Oh no! He's gonna be so angry with me! I'm not being loyal enough! I'm not living for him enough! Oh no!!! I'm failing his test!!

I rush out of my room and go to the artillery room. I grab a Kevlar vest and strap it on. Then I start loading up with knives and guns. I grab Mistah J's deadly deck of cards, his acid spraying carnation, his deadly hand buzzer, and several Joker gas hand gernades. The Joker gas will be my best bet since Mistah J and myself are immune to it.

Then I walk to the window and quietly slide it open. I slide out the window from a second story room and jump to the ground. I hide in the bushes and look for gaurds on the ground. I already know their rotation, so all I'm waiting for is my window of time. When it comes I scurry across the lawn and hide behind the black Escalade.

When security dies it's next sweep I quietly get in the driver's seat. I reach my hand under the steering column and jerk loose the wires from the ignition switch. I tap them together and the vehicle cranks. I quickly slam it in drive as the security guys start running for me. I can hear them yelling for Frost and saying, "It's the boss's lady!"

I drive that Escalade like I stole it. I guess in a way I did. I drive so fast and so wrecklessly that I can almost hear Mistah J's laugh next to me. I go straight to Arkham. I pull up outside the grounds and find a place to stash the Escalade. Then I get my weapons ready for a battle.

I get to the gate and approach the gaurd shack. The fat security gaurd looks at me preplexed. I smile and approach him. "Hi, Harley Quinn, nice to meet'cha," I say sweetly and thrust my hand out for a handshake. His hand makes contact with mine and starts to stiffen and seize from the volts coursing through his system. He drops dead and I let go of his hand. I search him and take his security card to open the Asylums back entrance.

I slide his card over the censorship and hear the door unlock. I slip inside and decide to pull the pin on a grenade and throw it down the hall, right next to the nurses station. Green gas starts to emit from it. A few seconds later the alarm goes off. I hear heavy boots running in my direction. I drop to my knees and pull out my gun. I shoot them in their heads before they even realize I'm there.

I rush into the nurses station and start looking to see where they're keeping Mistah J. E-146, that was the lower level, beneath the hospital. That's where they kept the craziest and most deadly patients. I start for the elevator. As I turn a corner a gaurd grabs me. Mistah J's acid carnation is pinned to me. I aim at his face and douse him. He immediately let's go to grab his face. As he crouches in agony I slam a knife down into the base of his neck.

I get into the elevator and go down to E-wing. I know that this elevator shaft is the only way in and out of here. As soon as the door opens I throw another grenade of Joker gas. I pop the panel off the elevator and disable it. That way no one can get down here. Only two people can survive down here with all this gas anyway.

I find Mistah J's cell and unlock his door. When I open it he's sitting on his cot with his hands folded in his lap. He looks a bit confused, but that wasn't all I saw. I also saw anger, and I could see him struggling to not let it overcome him.

"Harley girl, while I deeply appreciate the sintiments of your actions, and have overwhelming pride at your loyalty, I'm very disappointed that you didn't follow my orders. Did I ask to be assisted in an escape?"

"I... I thought you were testing me..." I stutter.

"Testing you? What makes you think that I would want you risking our child's life? Coming here was stupid Harley. Coming here alone was just...crazy. I really want to slam you into the wall, lift you by your neck and..." He growls and runs his hand through his messy hair, "Agh! But I can't do that. If I kill you..." He just stares at me with a shrug. Then he busts out laughing. "It figures really, the one time someone disobeys me to help me, and it's also the one time that I was willing to stay." He walks out of his cell and I follow.

He spins around suddenly and I slam into him. He starts by taking one of the grenades. Then two knives, which he puts in the waist if his Arkham sweats. He smiles brightly when he pulls out his deck of cards with razor edges. "How many are left?" He asks me as he turns again, heading for the elevator.

"Maybe a dozen," I say as I fix the elevator.

We start going up. I load my gun quickly and aim at the door. Mistah J puts his hand over my gun and wags his index finger in my face. He takes it and moves me to the front corner of the elevator. "Stay put," he says sternly and pulls the pin on the grenade with his teeth. With his right hand he steadys my gun.

The doors open and he chunks the grenade as I press the button for the door to shut. Mistah J manages to squeeze off a few shots until they do. "Two," he smiles and presses his ear to the door. "Three...five......eight.......eleven......." He tilts his head like a confused dog and presses the button to open the door. He walks out slowly. At the end of the hall was someone who wasn't quite dead yet. "Come on baby," he says holding his hand out to me. I take it and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a card. With the flick if his wrist it slices the man's jugular.

J marches us outside, he's literally pulling me. I tell him where the Escalade is and he drags me the entire way there. He's screaming and yelling at me. He's absolutely livid. Uh Oh!! I think I'm in big trouble!