One Bad Day

Preparation

Joker's POV

I followed Alfred to where Frost was. He stood up and nodded at me, "Boss."

I smile big, "Johnny ole' boy," I  smack his shoulders, "how have you been?"

"Good boss," he nods back.

Alfred excuses himself and as I look back to make sure he's gone my smile turns to a scowl.

"You wanted to see me boss?" Frost then asks.

"Yes. It's about Zsasz," I say.

"The plan's all set."

"I'm changing the plan."

"What? You mean you don't want to take him?" He asks me with a confused look.

"Don't be silly, of course I'm taking him. There's just a minor altercation to the plan," I say and turn away from him.

"I see, and what would that be boss?" He asks.

"I want him to not visibly be taken. I want Bats unaware that I've taken him. I have to live with him for a few weeks afterall. If Zsasz comes up missing I'm the first person he will expect. But I can't wait to take him because he could be transferred to the a place that's harder to break him out of than the GCPD. Therefore, there must be a switcheroo. You must find someone who resembles Zsasz. And you must do it fast, time is running out. Tic tock tic tock," I snap my fingers.

"Yes boss," he nods and pulls his phone from his pocket. He sends a text and looks back at me. "In other news, we can't find the Riddler."

Had it not been for the Thorazine coursing through my veins I would have picked up the very expensive vase in front of me and thrown it at Frost. However, I'm feeling doscile so I just look at him. "Oh?"

He lets out a breath of relief when he sees how calm I am. "Im sorry boss. We've searched all over Gotham for him. Its like he just vanished off the face of the earth or something."

"Hummm," I nod, "he's no doubt traveling under a new alias. Tell me, is our dear boy Nygma seeing anyone? Or perhaps theres a family member he hides? Friends? Business partners?"

"He's partnered with the Penguin on something currently," Frost speaks.

"Really?" I smile, "Do you happen to know what?"

"Something about the Plant lady," he shrugs.

"Ivy?" My eyes snap up to him.

"Yeah boss, word on the street is she stoke something from Nygma."

"Did she now. Hummm, must be big if Riddler needs Penguin's help. Ivy, Ivy, Ivy. What a naughty girl," I sigh. And I woukd have to be indebted to her for all the work she did in helping me create the antipsychotic that aided in integrating Jack into the collective. Ivy was in trouble and I had the ability to help her while hopefully helping myself. "The Plant is hereby under my protection. Have her picked up and taken to Ha-Hacienda. Don't tell her anything you don't have to. I'll tell her myself."

"Yes boss," Frost nods, "will that be all?"

I nod and he leaves. I draw in a deep breath and shake my head. I sure hope that whatever Ivy has that belongs to Riddler will draw him out of the woodwork. Or perhaps he wants to kill Ivy. If so even better, he has to get through me first.

I make my way upstairs to Harley's room. When I go in shes eating ice cream and watching Tv. I give her a smile and cross over to the bed. I slide into it next to her and take her in my arms. I take the spoon from her hand and get some ice cream on it. I bring it to her lips and feed it to her.

"Don't cha think there's something you and I should discuss dollface?" I smile.

"What's that puddin?" She smiles back.

"Well, if memory serves correctly, there's going to be a certain child born in about three months."

"Yeah," she nods, not sure where I was going with this.

"Well don't you think it's time we thought about names?" I ask.

She smiles brightly. "Yeah? You want to pick out names?"

"Well, it would be rather insensitive to call it 'hey you'," I say and Harley laughs. Shes the only one who ever laughed at my jokes.

"So what names did you have in mind Mistah J?"

"Well...how about...if its a boy I name it. If its a girl, you name it," I  smike and bring another bite of ice cream to her lips.

"Ok," she smiles, "well you go first. What nanes would you choose if you have a son?"

I just smile, "Well its an obvious choice for a boy. Junior of course, Joker Jr. We can call him J.J."

"I knew you were going to say that," Harley rolls her eyes.

"Well then, do tell what you intend to name my daughter?" I say.

Her eyes look up at the ceiling in thought. "Hummm. I think..."

"You're killing me with the suspense baby," I chuckle.

"How about...Lucy, Lucy Napier?"

"Lucy..." I try out the way it sounds, "Lucy is nice...But I'm afraid that it can't be Napier."

"Why not?" Harley looks at me.

"I just think Quinzel would be a safer choice. Call me superstitious," I shrug.

She just rests her head on my chest with a sigh and doesn't say anything else about it. I guess she understands what I'm thinking about. The last child that would have bore my name didnt fare to well. Jack didnt fare to well. My parents...its as if that last name was cursed. Perhaps I'm being silly, or perhaps I'm being smart.

True, everyone knows that I married Harley and that shes pregnant, but I never admitted to it being mine. If I  can raise doubt as to who the child belongs to then it would be better. The child wouldn't be directly associated with me, therefore it's life expectancy would be higher. Yes, its best for the child to not have my last name. In fact, perhaps I should put more thought into Joker Jr.