One Bad Day

Like A Dog

Joker's POV

Bats was able to apprehend Riddler after a few weeks. He used Ivy as the trap. She met with Nygma to return his formula where Bruce was waiting. He took Ivy into custody too, but it was merely staged to make Riddler think she wasn't in on it. And Riddler's formula? Well I've got that. It's my insurance policy. If Riddler tries anything all I have to do is wave it in his face and say, 'Down boy. Sit. Good boy.'

After Riddler was shipped back to Arkham I had to reclaim what was mine. See, that's the thing about turf wars, they're technically never over. So I had to leave Lucy and Harley and go back to Gotham. There I had a ton of meetings with different crime bosses. I had to drag up dirt on each and every one of them. Obtaining that kind of information comes easy to me so it wasn't hard, only time consuming. Once the meetings were done, my own territory was again secured.

Once the turf war issues were dealt with I had to other pressing matters. I sold all my safehouses and bought new ones. Plus I had to find a new Ha-Hacienda. I found a mansion just at the edge of the city. It was the perfect place to raise Lucy. Then I had to get everything ready. Then I installed security. By the time I was finally done it had been three weeks since I'd seen my family. I was delighted to finally bring them home.

Tonight is my last night alone without Lucy and Harley. Tomorrow they would arrive by plane. I was so anxious to see how much my daughter has grown. If it wasn't for the fabulous technology of cell phones, with video, pictures, and chat I wouldn't have made it through the past three weeks. My phone had become like a life line.

Unfortunately my night wasn't peaceful. I had to invite the fat fucking old Italian bosses to the Grin and Bare It. It was just a stupid formality, a respect thing they call it. Well their idea of respect is a suitcase of money and you getting them drunk and laid. You know, couldn't they just accept the suitcase in a drop and call it done? Why do I have to throw them a goddamn party to fuck me?

But I play their obedient little dog. I do it simply because I have to to keep Gotham as mine. And the price I pay for Gotham tonight is their constant ridicule of me. As I have mentioned, they hate me. They tolerate me because I make them ten times the money that Falcone did.

I swirl my drink with my finger, there wasn't much else to look at. I'm married and Harley would take my eyes if I looked at the strippers much. But the company around me isn't worth looking at either. I keep looking at my phone just to see my most recent pictures of Lucy that Harley had sent.

"Look at this Casper the Friendly ghost looking mother fucker, on his phone with all this prime pussy walking around," laughs one of them.

I glance up slightly and don't say anything, I just pull a fake smile to my face and pour myself another shot. I think I'm on my second bottle. Admittedly, I'm closer to drunk than I am sober. Plus I might have had some heroin, you know, just to keep me placid. If I wasn't fucked up I would have probably shot some knee caps by now.

"Damn J, don't these chicks ever strip to the classics no more?" One complains and sticks cotton in his droopy old ears.

"Ain't no Italian dancers here. If there was we'd hear some real music," a third complains.

I internally roll my eyes and visualize cutting out his organs in alphabetical order. I'll be sure to play the Rat Pack while I do it. I'm sure Frank, Dean, And Sammie won't mind since they've been dead for thirty fucking years or more.

"Hey Joker, don't you's serve food here?"

"Well look at him, does he look like he eats to you?" He laughs and roll beyond roll of fat vibrates like a jello mold.

I can't resist a comment, "Hummm, do you always eat your dinner in some strippers sweaty g-string?" The other guys laugh as that one glares at me.

"Yeah J, don't that new wife of yours know how to feed you?"

"Well they do have a new baby. When we gonna get to meet the Mrs?"

I get distracted by one of my strippers putting her hands on me. I grab her hard and almost break her fucking wrist, then I grin maliciously and show my wedding ring.

"Spread the word," I growl at her.

"Hey, you know, just cuz you's get married don't mean the fun hasta stop! Oh bada-bing!!" Says one of these Italian fucks to me.

"Hey, guy like Joker here, he's probably got a real classy chick on the side."

I neither confirm nor deny anything, I just run my hand through my hair. I wanted to send pictures of their girlfriends to their wives. I wanted to send them pictures of their wives cheating too. I wanted to cut some of that fat off them and feed it to my hyenas. But I bite my tongue until it bleeds.

Finally after hours and hours of insults they hooked up with strippers and took them to various hotels. I couldn't have been happier. I couldn't wait for this night to end. Tomorrow I would have my family back again.

"Cars waiting boss," Frost tells me as I'm smiling at the last picture of Lucy I got from Harley. She was sleeping and looked so peaceful. I put my phone away and follow behind Frost. Another picture comes from Harley. I open it to see her spread eagle on a table wearing nothing but her wedding ring. I turn my phone sideways and gleam at my beautiful wife all hot and ready for me.

Frost opens my door as I'm walking out of the front door of the club. I stick my phone in my pocket and that's when I hear a gun shot. Suddenly the air is knocked out of me and I'm thrown to the ground.

"Boss!? Boss?!" Frost hovers over me as my guys rush off firing in the direction the shot came from.

I gasp trying to catch my breath. I reach my white gloved hand down to my chest. When I pull it away it's red from my blood. Fuck. I'm hit.

"Boss, we gotta go! Stay with me," Frost says trying to get me up.

But I couldn't catch my breath. I was...terrified. Three weeks here in Gotham without Lucy, just to be able to bring her out of that damn mountain. All that time and money just to be shot like a dirty dog in the street.

"Haha," I weakly chuckle as Frost and a couple of my other guys lift me up. They put me in the back seat and the car speeds off.

"We gotta take him to a hospital!" One of them shout.

"We can't!" Frost shouts and holds pressure on my wound, knowing very well what my blood will do to him. That's loyalty. He knew I would be arrested the moment I recover if I'm taken to the hospital. But maybe for the first time ever, I really wanted to go to a hospital. I've seen thousands of gun wounds. I've been shot 17 times myself. Scratch that, eighteen. I know gunshot wounds, and this one is bad. I think my lung is punctured. If something isn't done fast I might very well die.

I could see everything around me getting fuzzy. Then came the spots. My eyes drifted closed. Then I saw Lucy laughing. My eyes shot open. No. I couldn't die, Lucy needs her father. I reach up and grab a pen from Johnny's inside pocket. I pull it apart quickly with my teeth. I spit the guts out of my mouth and bring the cylinder up over my chest. I slam it down in the wound and gasp as air reinflates my lung again.

"I-Ivy," I gasp and grab Frost. She was my best bet until a doctor could be kidnapped. Frost gives the driver her address and they speed me there.

By the time they get me there and up three flights of stairs I'm covered in sweat. Johnny's hands are burned from my blood. And my other henchmen are panting. Ivy opens her door and they just burst in with me and lay me on her coffee table.

"What happened?!" She shouts and rushed over to see me. "Shit J, the blood!" She says. I know what the problem is. Nobody can touch me safely. It doesn't matter how many oven gloves they put on, my blood can eat through them in mere minutes. But this is unfortunately not a bullet that I can remove on my own. I'm gonna die.

"Ah, shit!" One of my guys panic.

"What if we keep water going, keeping the blood off whoever is digging the bullet out," Frost winced wrapping his hands with a towel.

"We gotta try," Ivy nods. She rushed off and returns with a waterhose dripping water as she pinches the flow off.

One of my guy holds the water over my chest and another quickly rips my bloody shirt open and rushed off to wash his burning hands. Ivy pulls out some botany tools to dig the bullet out of my chest. I smile weakly because it's so tragic it's funny. This is it for the Joker. This is how I die.

No, this isn't the last chapter!!!