One Bad Day

The Big Welcome

Joker's POV

It wasn't time! It wasn't time for the baby to come! It wasn't supposed to come for another eight weeks! It was too soon! The sooner a child is born, the more likely it is to encounter things that could result in its death, like not breathing good enough, or heart not strong enough! I couldn't lose it. I wouldn't have the mind to live through that sort of thing twice in one lifetime. No. I fought so hard to try to become a better man for my child. I've almost lost it once already and now fate was doing a twisted number on me. I knew I wasn't deserving of the child, and karma apparently knew it as well. Now my cards were being dealt and all I have is a pair of twos.

"No. No, no, no...it isn't time!There's still eight weeks to go!" I shake my head in disbelief, paralyzed to this spot. I wasn't ready for this! I was supposed to still have eight weeks to prepare for the arrival! But wether I like it or not, ready or not, this baby was coming!

"I don't think the baby got that memo!" Harley says as she grabs her stomach and winced a bit, slightly hunching over. I knew it was a contraction.

Ivy rushed to Harley's side and helps her across the room to the couch. She helps her sit and starts stuffing pillows behind her back. I look at Frost with my mouth open, completely in shock and feeling helpless. Why now?!

He quickly looks away, "I think I'll make sure all the survalence is up and running," and makes a fast escape. Bastard. I should punch him for the abandonment.

"Um J," Ivy says looking at me, "I hope you know how to deliver a baby cuz I don't." She looked frantic as she did her best to make Harley comfortable. Then the voices in my head start up.

"Um, do we know how to do that?"

"We are proficient in chemestry, physics, and genitics. I do believe all of those are more complex than delivering a baby."

"Let it die!"

Boss was right. I'm a fucking genius. I know how babies are born. I know the general procedure. Truthfully, I didn't have to do much more than catch it on the way out. Harley is the one who has to do all the work. And admittedly, I feel a little bad that she has to endure so much pain because I was careless. I felt a little guilty for getting her pregnant.

"Oh god it hurts!" Harley screams out in pain.

It interrupted the voices in my head. My ears rang at the shrillness. I could tell she's never been in pain like this before. And trust me, I've put Harley through a lot of physical pain before. Fuck, I've almost killed her a few times. But still, I couldn't seem to move. I was...terrified.

"Hello?! Earth to the Joker!" Ivy shouts at me trying to bring me back to reality.

"What?!" I snap.

"Can you deliver this baby?!" She asks me again, even more frantic than before.

I blink and my body finally moves for Harley on the couch. I kneal next to her and take her hand. I felt like I should say something but I didn't know what to say. All I could think about was that it wasn't time yet. However, I didn't want to worry Harley further by going into the risks of what could go wrong. We weren't in a sterile room. I had no medical supplies. No incubator if the child requires one. Didn't have a birthing bed. This could not have happened at a more inopportune moment.

I somehow managed to find my autopilot button and went into action. "Ivy, see if you can find clean towels or blankets. Go to the bathroom and fill the bathtub. The water will help with the pain since we don't have shit here for pain."