Scars We Bury || On Hold

5//Pain...So much pain...

Chapter 5

"Rain falls because the clouds can no longer handle the weight. Tear falls because the heart can no longer handle the pain."

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Friday September 19, 2015
Dear Diary,
I wake up today like everyday so what's new. Days are like each other, they are neither special nor are they good. I get up from my bed, go to the bathroom, take a shower, brush my hair then I put on my double sized red hoodie and I pull the hood over my head then I make my way downstairs and head out to school. I enter the school and there is nothing new about it actually. I just go to my class, listen to some boring lessons then I head to the cafeteria to get my lunch. And after that, I would go to the parking lot. I go to the parking lot but I don't find him. I search around the school but I can't find him anywhere. I guess he didn't come today. I go to some tree and I sit under it hoping for him to come and give me my cigarette but he doesn't and I end up sitting alone under the tree waiting desperately for the home time. The day doesn't get any good without my cigarette partner.

When I hear the bell ringing, I quickly take my backpack and head to home. Jack is there. I say hi to him before I go to my bedroom and lock it. To my beautiful luck that he was busy on the phone so he didn't have time to hit me today. I sigh in relief before I take off my clothes and throw myself on the bed. Tomorrow is weekend so this means that I will finally have my beauty sleep.

Monday September 22, 2015
The weekend passed nothing really catchy happened during it except getting slapped for like....Hmmmmm..I actually lost count. Whatever, I get out of my bed, took a shower, put on my make-up and my blue sweatshirt , brushed my hair then I made my way to school. I enter the school and I look around but I can't seem to find Luke anywhere. I feel disappointed but I have hope that I will see him at lunch time smoking at the parking lot like always. I make my way to class. I don't pay attention to anything. I am just waiting for lunch time to have my smoke with him. As soon as the bell rings, I take my backpack and hurry to the parking lot. I scan the place but I don't see him anywhere. "Where has he gone!" I say as I slap my forehead. I walk sadly to my tree spot and sit there waiting for him to show up but he never showed up.

2 weeks later..........
Monday October 6, 2015
Dear Diary,
I miss him so much. 2 weeks have passed and I still don't where he is. I don't even have his number or know where he lives. I know nothing about him except just his name Luke Charles. He didn't show up for two whole weeks. I am worried about him that I even asked some of his friends whom I saw with him before. When I asked them, they told me that they don't know where he is either. "Where could he just be?" I have kept asking myself that question for two whole weeks but I have never really found an answer.

I get up from my bed after asking myself where Luke has gone. I go to the bathroom, take a shower, brush my hair then I put on my double sized black hoodie and I pull the hood over my head then I make my way downstairs. To my luck, Jack is still here. He hasn't left yet. Can my day just get any better! He is sitting on the kitchen counter, I walk from beside him ignoring him and I make my way to the door. Just as I start to turn the door knob, I feel a hard grib on my arm. I turn to face him. His eyes are so cruel full of hatred and anger like always. He scans me with so much disgust in his eyes before he grabs my arm even harder and looks me in the eyes with so much frustration.

"How can you wake up everyday knowing that you were the reason of her death?" He says sternly and I instantly feel tears forming in my eyes.

"Huh? How can you just be a normal person WHEN YOU KNOW THAT YOU KILLED HER!! JUST TELL ME HOW THE F*CK DO YOU DO IT EVERY F*CKING DAY!" He yells at me. I feel his words getting inside my heart, ripping it into million pieces. He causes me so much pain....I am not only feeling physical pain because of his hard grib on my arm but I also feel pain in my heart. I feel my heart aching so much. I can't help but feel tears streaming down my face.