Scars We Bury || On Hold

30//Sanctuary

Chapter 30

"Sanctuary; an invisible circle of protection, drawn around the body with the hand, that reminds you that you are safe and loved, even in the darkest times."

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1 week later......
Wednesday June 27, 2016

Dear Diary,
1 week has passed. In the past week everything was good I guess. It was just simple except for Luke who has changed. He is not like before. He is treating me like I am some sort of shattered glass and he is afraid to break it at any second. His fear is understandable but it's making me uncomfortable. It's just complicating things. I wish he could just treat me like he did before. Luke doesn't even touch me. He doesn't make the first move. He waits for me to kiss him or to hold his hands.

I can see that he is struggling and I feel helpless. I know that he is giving me my time to forget what has happened but I don't want him to give me my time. I want him to give me everything and do everything without having me to ask him. I want him to kiss me again. I miss him stealing kisses from me. I miss him touching me and what I miss more is our moments together. Those moments that took us into a whole new level of desire and love. I want those again. I want everything to be normal again. I don't want him to feel like he has ruined everything because he didn't. Luke thinks that my love to him has decreased since the last incident but I so badly want to tell him that the love I hold for him is increasing gradually day by day nonstop. I Love Him. I Love Him So Much.

I make my way to my closet after I am done with my thoughts. I put on a purple sleeveless stomach top and I wear a black simple jacket over it along with my blue jeans and white sneakers. I wear a cherry coloured lipstick and I loosen my hair all over my shoulders. I take my backpack and I head downstairs. Jack greets me warmly before I storm off to school with my car.

When I arrive, I park my car and I see Luke parking his car too. He gets out of his car, making his way towards me. I smile happily as he gets closer to me. He leaves quite a distance between us. He doesn't get too close to me since what has happened and everytime he does that, I see the pain in his eyes and my heart just aches for him.

"Hey!" I say waiting for him to come and pull me into a warm hug or does anything he used to do but he doesn't and I feel disappointed.

"Hey. How are you?" He says giving me a warm smile filled with some sort of happiness. I don't even know if we are still together or not. But we don't act as a couple at all. We are just friends and not even best friends.

"I am good and you?"

"Been better. I.....I....have to go to class now. I have a history exam." He says without showing any reaction, making me feel like it's okay to just run away from me. This hurts and I have to talk to him.

"Okay, Luke. As you like." I say annoyed before I storm off to my class.

The rest of the day passed quickly. Exams were bad of course but that's something we all got used to. Luke avoided me during lunch break like he has been doing since the incident. He just acts like he is busy with his friends when his eyes meet mine. But I can't take this anymore. It has been a week and he has done enough to hurt me. We have to talk.

It's home time now and I am leaning over my car, thinking about what I should tell Luke. He is standing with some of his friends and when he sees me, he doesn't come to me like he used to do. Something is off but maybe he is really hurting and it's because of that night. I don't want to be unfair to him but I really need him close to me like before and I know he needs me too but he doesn't show it. I wave for him to greet him before going home. He nods then he comes towards me. "Are you going home now?" He asks me with a smile on his face.