Chapter 22
"I never knew the meaning of unconditional love but now I know it because I felt it. It's when you feel that you have got everything you have ever wanted in your life. It's when you feel that there is happiness erupting from your body. It's when your only wish is to be beside the person you love till you take your last breath. It's when you feel whole and mended again. It's when everything makes sense."
~Luke Charles....
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Wednesday January 15, 2016
Luke......
2 weeks passed and everything was good. Everything with me and Scar was turning out for the better. We had so much moments together. We went out on 4 dates I think and every date was incredible than the other. Every time we sat together, I'd discover a new thing about Scar and every time I discover a new thing, I'd feel happy and grateful for having her by my side. My life became different or as we can say my outter life was better than the one in my home.
I haven't told Scar about what happens to me behind closed doors although she has told me. I just can't. I can't gather the courage and go tell her that I have an abusive father. She can't see the weak broken boy behind all of this. She won't like him. He is too damaged. He is weak, broken, bad, hurts others, careless and worst of all a drug addict.
Yeah, a drug addict, something Scar hasn't fully realized yet. She knows that I take drugs but she doesn't know how much of them and how far they can affect me.
Sometimes I sit with myself and think about how Scar will react if she ever uncovers all of those hidden truths as I don't plan on telling her any of that soon. I know that she is my girlfriend now and that she has the right to know everything going on in my life. Somehow I feel guilty for not telling her anything that happens in my life when I am not with her. I feel like I am deceiving her and she doesn't deserve that. I know too much about her. I studied her like an open book. While she just knows what I let her know and she sees what I let her see. And that's kind of unfair but back to square 1 how can you gather the courage and tell your girlfriend that your father has anger issues and he abuses you. How can you stand appearing weak in front of her? How will she react? And will we ever be the same after my secrets become revealed? And how heart broken will Scar be when she knows that I get abused too? Will she feel guilty of not realizing what happens to me? Too many questions but without answers and I guess that they will never be answered. Some secrets are better buried.
All my thoughts seemed to vanish into thin air when my phone suddenly begins ringing out of nowhere. Her name appears on my screen Scary Scar :*♡ and in a matter of seconds, all my thoughts became into place again. I am not thinking of anything now other than her and how much I wanna see her now.
"Good Morning, Lukey." Her voice echoes in my ears and suddenly everything just became about her. How can she effect me that much?
"Morning, babe. How you doing?"
"I am good just getting ready for school."
"Oh right! I forgot about school."
"Of course you forgot. Your mind is all about me."
"It is."
"Stop that."
"What?! You said a fact."
"Whatever."
"I am coming to take you by the way. No more walking."
"Do I have a say in this?" She asks innocently and I simply answer "No, baby. Now go, I wanna get dressed."
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