Scars We Bury || On Hold

21// Appetence

Chapter 21

Appetence:
(noun); an eager desire, an instinctive inclination; an attraction or natural bond.

_

____________________________________________

Wednesday January 2, 2016
Dear Diary,
Yesterday was the best night I have ever had in my life. It was like a dream and I was afraid to wake up from it. I never imagined having someone to love me as much as I love him. It's a new feeling. All the memories from yesterday keep repeating in my mind. Starting from how I left Australia and took the first plane to California. How I did my best to arrive in time. How Luke and I held hands while the count down went on. How we kissed each other twice yesterday. I still trace my lips till now and whenever I trace them, I memorize our kiss all over again. It's not my first kiss but it's the first true kiss I have ever had. My life is not so bad after all.

Yeah, I get abused by my brother and he hates my guts but at least I have someone to go to at the end of the day. Someone that I am not ashamed of. Someone who has all my secrets. Someone I open up to. Someone I love. Maybe everything came in a rush but I don't regret it. We just found each other in the right time and I would have given everything I have in my life just to experience last night. For one second, I am not thinking about how my mother has died or how I was somehow the reason, I am thinking about how much I need her now to tell her all about yesterday. I wanna tell her how much Luke makes me happy. How he takes my pain away and how much she would have loved to meet him. I wanna have a motherly-daughter moment. A moment where I confess everything to her. A moment of truth, talking my feelings and getting them out of my chest. Sadly I never really got that moment. I never really had the chance to have a motherly-daughter talk or anything. I was so small when she died. I am on the verge of crying but I am trying my best not to. I don't wanna go to the starting point.

*Phone ringing*
I quickly take my mobile from beside me and when I find Luke's name appear on my mobile screen, I sigh in relief.

"Good Morning, babé." He says his voice soft and sweet. I find myself smiling like a crazy person. Just hearing him say babé made my day.
"Morning, babé."

"You are so cute saying 'babé'." He says his voice cheerful.

"Don't get used to it, ass...." I say but he cuts me off.

"No, I beg you. Don't ruin the moment." He says laughing and I can't help but laugh too. How can he be so lovely. How can he be so cute. I just don't seem to get enough of him.

"I won't ruin it. I promise babé."

"You don't know how much............" Luke says but he gets cutt off. Voices shouting his name and there is so much noice there. It's like someone is beating someone or having an aggressive fight. A voice of woman screaming.

"Luke!" I call out his name. Luke shouts "You never get tired of that." His voice is so angry and aggressive. I have never heard his angry voice before but if I heard it face to face I would have been afraid of the harshness in his voice now.

"Luke!".

"Look babé. I have to go now. I will call you later."

"Luke! Are you okay?"

"Yeah, babé. Everything is okay. I love you, okay?...bye." He hangs up and I am confused. What's happening? He sounded so angry. Something off but I don't know what it is. Luke is not usually that angry so when he is, it means that something is really wrong. I wonder what happened. I guess I will know when he calls me back.