Complicated

Chapter 36

"Dang... That's... Complicated." Amber chuckles. I nod. "And I feel so confused..." I mumble. "Well... It seems like you have more of a... sexual relationship with Harry, and more of a... Loving relationship with Michael. But you want both of those characteristics, so therefor you can't choose." She concludes. She's right. "What do I dooooo?" I groan, stopping outside of the hotel. "I would play hard to get." She says. "Instead of trying to choose, let them come to you and see who tries harder? I don't know, I'm not good at advice..." She says, fiddling with her hair again.

"No, I think you're right!" I say. "Thanks!" "No problem." She says. She waves then turns around to leave. "Wait! Don't you want to meet Ash?" I ask. Her eyes widen. "Really?" She asks. "Sure, why not?" I say. She grins and follows me inside. "Gabby! Thank god!" Louis says when he sees me. "You are SO grounded again" he says sassily. I just roll my eyes. "I thought I was still grounded from last time." I say with a smirk. He shifts from one foot to the other. "You are." He huffs, then spins around and walks away.

I look over and Amber is staring at Louis walking down the hallway, full of sass. "C'mon." I laugh. She follows me down the hall and to Ashton's door. I knock and the door opens to see a sleepy Luke. "Hey butthole." I say, walking in. "Well? You coming Amber?" I ask. She slowly follows me in, awkwardly glancing at Luke, then back to me. Ash is laying on his bed in ripped black skinny jeans (More of Luke's style if you ask me) and he's playing on his phone.

"Assshh" I say, jumping on him. "Heeeyyyyy!" He complains when I pull his phone out of his hand and stick it in my back pocket. I roll off of him and lay next to him. "I have a friend here who wants to meet you." I say. Amber stares dreamily at Ash and I have to snap my fingers to get her attention. "Hey cutie" Ashton smiles at her. Her eyes widen and she smiles back at him. I stand up and push her over to his bed. "Give her a hug." I say. Ashton chuckles and stands up, then wraps his arms around her. You can practically see her melt into him. I roll my eyes. Ahh. Young love. I smile.

"Ok, time for the matchmaker to roll out. Take care of her Ash." I say. He chuckles. "I will." As I walk out, Luke stands awkwardly by the door. "Guys, out. Go talk somewhere else so Luke can sleep." I say. The two love birds agree and leave the room. "Thanks. Luke mumbles before collapsing on his bed, his blonde hair flying everywhere. Seconds later soft snores erupt from his lips. I giggle. Dork. I leave the room and head to my own room to find all the girls in their bathing suits.

"Gabby! We were just about to go swimming!" Kayla says happily. "Come with us!" Maddy says. "Ok. I'll be down in a minute." I chuckle. The girls leave and I find myself lost in thought again. I wait for someone to come find me. I wait for someone to walk through that door and help me think straight. But nobody does. And I'm alone. I sigh and sit on the bed.

How can I keep making these stupid decisions? It's like I'm a whore who plays with boys feelings... I bury my face in my hands and groan. Maybe Amber was right? Maybe I should just not worry about it and let them come to me... I groan again, then get up and change into my swimming suit. The last thing I want to do is get up and be social. But that's exactly what I'm going to do.

I pick up a white fluffy towel and hold it close to my chest. I suddenly feel very self conscious. I sigh and walk down the hallway towards the swimming pool. How many people are down there? Clenching my towel tighter, I walk inside and walk straight to the hot tub without looking at anyone. I set my towel on the ground and slip into the hot water. My eyes stay on the bubbles because I realize who's sitting across from me.

I take deep breathes and just sit. He doesn't look at me either. Man up Gabby. Man up. I bite my lip. "Hey Mikey." He takes a second, then looks up at me, meeting my gaze. "Hi." He attempts a small smile, but I know it hurts him to see me. We sit there in silence for a while before I take a deep breath and dunk underwater. The water rushes past my ears and the hot water burns my face. But I stay under. Even when my breath runs out, I stay under.

How can I possibly go back up and see him again? How could I stand to see the hurt in his eyes? For just one second, my mouth opens and I let water in. For one second, my mind fills with dark thoughts. It would be so easy to die. Maybe then, I couldn't hurt anybody anymore. I feel a hand grab mine and pull me back up. Once I reach the surface, I sputter and cough up water. "Are you ok? You were under for a long time!" Michael says, searching my face.

Even after hurting him, he still cares about me. I groan and get out. "I'm fine." I mumble. "Gabby! Come in!" El laughs. I shake my head and grab my towel, walking back inside and through the hallways, going straight into the room. I don't even bother drying off, I just collapse on the bed and cry. I cry and cry until I can't possibly cry anymore, then I just sit there quietly. My face blank. No thoughts. No emotions. Just tired.

I lay there with my towel wrapped around me and close my eyes. Maybe things aren't really this bad. Maybe this is just a dream.

I lay here for what seems like hours. Then the door opens. "How could you do this to us?" Michael yells. "I can't believe you." Harry growls. "Stupid little whore!" They walk over to my bed and glare at me. "You little slut! You can't have both of us!" "I wish you would just kill yourself so we wouldn't have to deal with you anymore!" Michael huffs. Harry leans down close to my face. "If you weren't so fucking hot I would just do it myself." "We'd all be better without you." Michael scoffs. Then everybody else pours into the room, agreeing with them. Even Louis, his always cheerful face pulled back in a grimace. "Slut" "whore" "ugly" "worthless" the all murmur.

A scream escapes my mouth and Michael slaps his hand over my mouth. "Shhh! No crying." Harry leans over me and grins. "No crying baby girl." Tears pour down my face. Michael leans so close to my ear that I can feel his warm breath puffing against me. "Wake up Gabby." He whispers. "Wake up."

My eyes fly open and I wipe the tears off my face. I had fallen asleep. The room is empty. And I am alone.