Complicated

Chapter 32

HEY GUYS! SORRY, I HAVNT WRITTEN IN A WHILE! I WILL TRY TO BE WRITING MORE OFTEN FOR MY LOVELY FOLLOWERS ;) THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING MY BOOKS! <3

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Michael chuckles from underneath me and I sit up. "Louis is going to kill us." I say with a smile. "Don't be TOO scared." Michael says sarcastically, making me roll my eyes at him.

I sigh and lay my head on his chest. "I don't want to go back. I just want to lay here forever." My stomach growls. "Actually, I want food." I say. Michael chuckles and sits up, causing me to sit up too. I'm still straddling him and his strong arms prop us both up.

"Let's go in then. I'm sure Lou is worried." My bottom lip puffs out into a pout. Michael chuckles, rolling his eyes, and stands up. "C'mon." He says with a smile, then helps me up.

We walk back together slowly. Each step I take, my dread of returning slowly worsens. What will happen now? Michael holds my hand assuringly and I'm thankful for the extra balance. When we reach the house, our hands slip from each others. I'm not sure who pulled away. Maybe we both did.

The door opens and Louis jogs out to us. "Where the hell were you?!?" He asks angrily. "I went on a walk." I state simply. It was more like a jog, but whatever. "Without any shoes?!?" He exclaims. I shrug. "I just wanted to get out of the house." He glares at Michael. "And what about you?"

"I was walking as well. I saw Gabby and we walked home together." Well. At least that's part of the truth... Louis huffs, not quite believing what we told him. "Inside. Now." We glance at each other before following Louis in. "Gabby. Your room." Louis says. I sigh and follow him into my room.

"What the hell are you thinking?" He says angrily once he shuts the door. His tone makes me flinch. "I don't know. Maybe I AM a slut just like you said." Louis' face softens. "You know I didn't mean that." He says quietly. "I know." I sigh. "It's just so... Complicated."

I collapse on my bed and groan. "I think you need to take a break from the boys. Brake up with Harry and leave them alone for a while. It'll give you a chance to think." "But I-" I stop myself. Maybe this is a good idea. I could use some time to think about the situation I'm in. I nod. "I'll be right back with Harry." He says. He walks out the door, leaving me alone on my bed.

I stand up and pace around my room. I wish I could just crawl out my window and run away instead of facing Harry. I'm pretty sure he knows what I did. Even though I know I love Michael, I'm sure I love Harry too. Man this sucks. I walk over to my window and breathe in the fresh air. My whole body shakes as I struggle to clear my mind about what I have to do.

My door opens, but I stay facing my window. "Hey." Harry's raspy voice says from behind me, making me flinch. My sight starts to go blurry and I know I'm about to burst. I have to keep it together. I muster all I can to finally speak, but not much comes out.

"Harry, I-" A tear rolls down my cheek and drops onto the window sill. Instantly, Harry has me in his arms and he just holds my while I cry into his shirt. He gently rubs my back and continues to whisper "It's ok" along with other comforting words. With each rub of his hand, with each kind word, my guilt grows. A knot forms in my throat, making it nearly impossible to speak.

I finally pull away and rub the tears away. "Harry, I'm so sorry. But... I just need some time." I blurt out softly. "It's ok. I understand." He says bravely. He kisses my head, then walks out of the room, leaving me feeling utterly helpless and alone.

One last hot tear flows over my eyelid and slides down my cheek. I slip on shoes and grab my jacket. I run down the stairs and everyone stairs at me. My eyes meet Harry's, then fall to the ground in shame. "I'm... Going out." I can tell that Louis doesn't want me to go, but he simply nods.

I turn around and step out the door. I run to my car and climb in. I dig the keys out if my pocket, but tears fill my eyes again, making it impossible for me to turn the car on. I fumble with the keys and jump when I hear a voice. "Let me drive." I nod and get into the passenger seat. El gets in, starts the car and starts driving.

It's getting late, so it's pretty dim outside. El is silent as we drive, and I lean my head on the window. It's silent for a long time until El speaks up. "I'm sorry. I know you're in a really tight position and its really hard for you. But I'm here for you." She glances at me, then focuses back on the road. "Thank you."

We drive for a little longer, then return home. I really don't feel like talking to anyone, so I go straight to my room and collapse on my bed. I squeeze my eyes shut and pray that tomorrow will be easier.