My Muse || Sope

-Forty-Three-

Lol summer classes are kicking my ass.

I feel like I'm hardly updating anymore and i hate itttttt

I wiped the palm of my sweaty hands on my jeans, forcing air into my lungs. I cleared my throat before reaching out a hand. "Mr. Jung, great to see you again."

Hoseok's father stood in front of me, an intimidating gaze in his eyes as he squinted slightly before shaking my hand in return. "Yoongi, hello." He motioned for me to come in, closing the door of his home behind me. "What brings you here?"

I sat down on the sofa, my palms still moving up and down the fabric of my jeans. "Well, I came to talk to you about something."

"Clearly." The older man rolled his eyes, sitting down across from me, his legs crossed.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I know that you offered to help pay for our wedding after I lost my job." He nodded, acknowledging that this was indeed true. "I got my job back, so it isn't a huge problem anymore."

"I'll still pay for some of it, don't worry." He shooed the air with his hand. "Is that all?"

I cleared my throat again, the nerves starting to increasingly build up inside. "No, sir. I wanted to ask if you were planning on attending our wedding?"

The glare on his face softened for a quick second. He shook his head. "I had always dreamed of attending my son's wedding, but I can't support him getting married to a male."

I forced the anger down, not wanting to make the situation worse. I had to do this for Hoseok. I knew he wanted his father there, but he didn't want me to know so I didn't have to feel guilty. "Please, sir. You're the one person Hoseok desperately wants at the wedding. I would love for you to be there as well."

"Oh please, you act as if I give a damn about your opinion." He scoffed.

I was beginning to burn with rage and fire inside. "My opinion is that your son and I are destined to be together. He makes me feel happy for the first time in my life, and I know that he has never smiled so much in his life until he met me. He told me so, last night. Don't you want your son to be happy? Wouldn't you love to witness the happiest day of his life so far?"

His eyebrows furrowed together as he stood up from his chair. "You do not get to speak for my son! I want you out of my home." He pointed forcefully towards the door.

I stood up, my hands in a defensive position in front of me. "Please! Hoseok would never ask you to come because he is ashamed and upset for disappointing you! He cries himself to sleep almost every night because he wants to make you happy, to have your approval. It would seriously mean the world to him, to me, if you surprised him by showing up and walking him down the aisle." I took in a deep breath, my lungs embracing the feeling of the air seeping in. "I will leave now, but it is in your hands. I urge you to consider the future relationship you would like with your son." I bowed before smiling at him weakly. "Have a good rest of the day, Mr Jung."

•••••••

On the train back to Seoul, my phone rang in my pocket, waking me up from the nap I was taking. I smiled at the caller id.

"Hoseokie! What's up, babe?"

"What's up? WHAT'S UP?" I pulled the phone away from my ear slightly to avoid permanent damage. His voice had anger laced in it. I frowned, bracing myself for what was to come. "I CAME HOME FROM WORK AND YOU'RE FUCKING GONE."

"Hoseok." I tried desperately to cut through his screaming so I can calm him down and explain.

"HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM WHEN I AM HERE FREAKING OUT BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT HERE LIKE YOU SAID YOU WOULD BE?"

I sighed, the yelling hurting my ears. "Babe, listen to me."

"WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME? I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING WELL! WE'RE ENGAGED AND PLANNING A WEDDING AND-"

"HOSEOK." I shouted into the phone, earning glares from sleeping people around me. I took a deep breath to calm me down. The other line was finally silent. "I took a trip, that's all. I had to go visit someone for something personal. I'm on the train headed home now, and I will be on time for our appointment with the cake designer to taste flavors, okay? Please, calm down and take a deep breath. I am not leaving you. I would never leave you."

The other line was silent except for Hoseok's shaky breaths. He was obviously crying and trying to hold it in.

"Hoseokie baby, please. I didn't mean to upset you. I never, ever, in my life, want to upset you in any way. I should've been more clear about where I was going, that was my fault. The train ride only has about ten more minutes until I can get off and come to see you, okay?"

I could picture Hoseok nodding his head quickly, a faint smile on his lips. "I miss you, so much."

"I know. But maybe tonight we can, uh, do something to make it up to you?"

Hoseok chuckled. "Oh? And what do you have in mind?" His voice dropped slightly deeper as he spoke.

"I think you have a good idea. After the cake tasting, we can grab a quick dinner and then head home and" I pulled the phone super close to my lips, eyes wandering across the strangers seated around me. I dropped my voice to a whisper. "And we can have some fun."

•••••
Awful. Terrible. Horrible. Complete shit. Oh well, I tried.

A few more chapters until the end (and possibly an epilogue??) 😭