My Muse || Sope

-Thirty-

"It's Hoseok."

There he stood in all of his beautiful glory. His hair, dyed red now, was in a black bucket hat. He wore a pair of baggy jeans and a loose white shirt.

"I see you also dyed your hair." He smiled, showing off his dimple and the freckle on his upper lip.

I licked my dry lips, unable of what to say. My mouth opened and closed like a fish as my eyes blinked rapidly.

"You know, Yoongi. You're right. I don't understand why fish have gills and humans don't, or vice versa. The way you're opening and closing your mouth is very similar to a fish."

"I-" my mind was blank. I didn't know how to speak anymore.

"Did I hear you say Hoseok?" Taehyung came from around the corner, freezing in the doorway next to me. "Holy shit."

"Uh, hey, Taehyung!" Hoseok scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Sorry, but could Yoongi and I talk in private?"

Taehyung shrugged, grabbing his stuff before walking past me and down the hall. "I'll be at Kookie's!"

Hoseok immediately faced me once again. God, he looked good, but I was still swarming with emotions.

"Why are you here?" My voice sounded bitter and cold.

He looked at me with glassy eyes. "Yoongi, I am so sorry for everything that happened. My father is the most important person in my life, and I had to make him happy. He is my best friend and so when he said he didn't think you were good for me, I panicked, letting him drag me back home." His voice got shaky, and it made me want to embrace him and tell him it was all okay. But it wasn't.

"I know it's been a year and I have no right to show up here on your doorstep. I-I've actually been in Seoul for a few days, trying to find the courage to come here and find you. To tell you that I want you back." His eyes left mine, finding a spot on the floor more intriguing. "But then I saw you holding hands with some guy yesterday, and I figured you had moved on. I understand, it happens. If somebody had pulled what I pulled, I would've given up on the relationship too."

"I didn't give up on the relationship." I spoke before I could process what I was going to say.

"You-what?"

I chuckled at how absurd the situation felt. "Yes, I was on a date. The first date I had been on in a year, and I couldn't stop thinking about you. Baekhyun just so happened to be quite understanding and held my hand while comforting me. And then I went to Namjoon's and got piss drunk."

Now it was his turn to look like a fish, his eyes wide while his mouth opened and closed several times, no words coming out.

"What made you decide that you want me back, after all of this time?"

Hoseok gulped visibly, which he quickly followed with a cough. "My-I would constantly ask my father to give you another chance. I got on my hands and knees and begged. I would cry myself to sleep practically every night. I was in so much pain. My father and I woud fight every day, and I eventually just told him he had to deal with it."

He ran a hand through his hair before continuing. "He is just looking out for me, and I understand. My ex, well...he seemed perfect. We were talking about marriage and adopting children. He left in the middle of the night and came back a week later, married to my best friend at the time. When I confronted him about him moving out of my apartment, he put me in the hospital and stole my apartment from under me. My father is just looking out for me."

"I had no idea. That's awful, Hoseok."

"I told my father that I was moving back here to Seoul, and so I did. I got my job at BigHit back, and I start there on Monday. Enough rambling, Hoseok." He whispered the last bit to himself as he took a deep breath. "I came here to see if I could get you back. I want you to be mine again. So, Yoongi, will you be my boyfriend again?"

I tried to hide the excitement inside by frowning. Of course I wanted to be his boyfriend again, but it had taken him a year to come running back. I wasn't sure if I wanted to give him another chance. He needed to earn my trust back. I closed my eyes and opened them again after a few seconds. "I don't know, Hoseok. It took you a year. A whole fucking year for you to come back. I don't think I can trust you right now. I need time."

He nodded, a small tear swimming down his cheek. "I'm so sorry I hurt you. You have to at least believe that, and I will spend every second trying to make it up to you for the rest of my life."

"I still love you, Hoseok. That'll never change."

He smiled at me taking a step closer. "I never got a chance to tell you formally, but now seems like a better time than any." He gripped my hands. "I thought I was in love before, with my ex. I didn't realize what being in love actually felt like until recently. I was looking at a picture of us, the one we took on our first date. I couldn't stop smiling looking at it. My heart was beating out of my chest. That lead me to the realization that I can't be without you. I can't breathe without you. I am so in love with you. Whether you choose to forgive me or not, I need you to know and understand that I love you."

His words left me speechless. I didn't know how to react. My brain and heart are telling me two seperate things. My brain continuously played the heartbreak over and over again, seeing Hoseok in front of me while he said he never loved me. It made me question the words he said to me now. Did he actually love me? On the other hand, my heart told me one thing: kiss him.

I listened to my heart, using a hand on the back of his neck to slam our lips together. I could taste the saltiness of our tears, but neither one of us seperated. Hoseok's hands snaked onto my waist and into my hair and down my back, all over the place as his emotions overcame him.

He pushed me against the wall right inside my apartment, making me gasp. He took the opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth, licking every inch of my cavern. I released a soft moan and I felt him smile into the kiss. My tears continued to flow until I broke out into a sob, breaking the kiss. I put my head in the crook of his neck. His arms wrapped stronger around me as he hushed my sobs.

"I-I can't f-forgive you yet."

He rubbed the side of my arm gently. "I understand, Yoongs." He pulled back a little more, moving the fringe out of my eyes. I smiled to myself at his touch.

"So, uh, I'll see you around then?" I chuckled a little, and watched his lips turn up into a smile.

He nodded. "I'll look forward to it."

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