My Muse || Sope

-Twenty-Eight-

With shakey hands, I slipped on my black oversized sweater. I admired myself in the mirror. The sweater's arms covered my hands, and, thankfully, the scars. I also wore black skinny jeans and black converse, paired with a white baseball cap.

I sighed as I grabbed my keys and wallet, starting my walk to the fro-yo place. It was a little chilly outside, but it only matched how I felt inside. I forced a smile as I made my journey to the first date I've had in close to a year.

His name was Baekhyun. I had only seen a picture that Jungkook had shown me. He was cute, but he wasn't my Hoseok.

I opened the door, feeling the cool air conditioning send a chill down my spine. My eyes caught the man from the picture. I let out a breath I didn't realize I had been holding as I started walking to the table.

I cleared my throat behind him. "Baekhyun?"

He turned and faced me, his eyes lighting up. "Yoongi? Wow, you look great."

I nodded in thanks before motioning for the bowls to start making our frozen yogurt.

I sat down first after Baekhyun insisted on paying. I took a bite, embracing the delicious flavors as I watched him sit across from me.

"So, tell me about yourself." He scooped some yogurt in his mouth, smiling.

"Um, well, I'm a music producer. I also rap and write my own music."

"That's cool! I sing and write songs too! I also model when I have time."

"Awesome." I tried to swallow the lump of guilt in my throat.

"So, how do you know Jungkook?"

I shrugged. "He works at the same company as me, and he's dating my best friend. I kind of got closer to him since he's always at my apartment with Taehyung. They practically live together."

"I'm shocked they haven't moved in together, honestly." Baekhyun took another bite.

"It's because of me." I frowned as I recalled the fight Taehyung and I had just a week ago. "My ex, um, well I guess you could say that he dumped me close to a year ago, and I've been struggling a lot. He says he doesn't want to move out until I'm in a more stable place."

"That's understandable! It took me about a year and a half to get over my ex, Chanyeol. You seem to be doing pretty well." I noticed his eyes tracing down to my wrists, and I pulled my sleeve, which had slid up, down to cover my scars once again. "You're not handling it well, are you?"

I gave a small smile, exhaling air sharply through my nose as I shook my head. "It still hurts whenever I think of him. I picture our last conversation so many times, and I go through and figure out how I could've handled it differently. If I had said this differently, would we still be together?"

Baekhyun reached a hand across the table and gripped mine, giving it a light squeeze. "You'll get over it eventually, Yoongi. And if you're not ready to start dating, I completely understand."

I gave him a smile, this time a genuine one. "Thank you, Baekhyun. Honestly, I am here to please Taehyung. He has been hounding me about getting back out in the dating world for like six months, and I was tired of hearing it." I finished off my frozen yogurt, todsing it in the trash can mext to our table. "I'm sorry if you wanted something more, but I am just not ready."

Baekhyun smiled at me. He had a cute smile, similar to Taehyung's. He looked a lot like Taehyung, actually. It was scary. "No hard feelings, man. You have my number if you ever wanted to grab a drink or dinner. And if you wanted a palette cleanser, a sort-of sexual sorbet, I'm only one call away. I would do you no problem."

I choked a little on some bile forming in my throat. "Thank you." I stood up from my chair, bowing slightly to him in goodbye as I escaped the small store, breathing in the fresh air the second I got outside. I pulled my phone out and called Namjoon, hoping that he would have advice different from Taehyung's.

"Yoongi? What's up?"

"Can we talk? I, um, just had my first date since... him. I-I need a friend. A very wise friend."

I heard Namjoon chuckle as he told me to come to his place, saying that he has some alcohol for me to down myself with since we have a day off tomorrow.

•••
My updates keep getting shorter I feel like and I don't like it, but I'm busy with physical therapy and I haven't been feeling super great lately.

Next update should be... interesting.😏