Smells Like Nirvana

Chapter 32

Darkness In The Midst

"I spent the day with Brian. It was amazing."

Looking up at the ceiling as she takes in a deep breath. Not sure why she was having this conversation with him, or how she could even do it.

"I slept at his place last night as well."

As she said that last part, Michael sucked in a breath, leaning back in his chair. Not feeling anger or hatred, but hurt. 

"We didn't do anything. Just laid in his hammock watching the stars and fell asleep on the beach."

That made him feel a little better although the thought of another man touching her... caused his chest to tighten. Feeling as though all the oxygen in the room had been sucked out and he could barely breathe.

"He had a surprise for me today. He took me to go skydiving at the airport he owns."

With that, Michael was out of his chair and feeling cheated. But why? He lost his right to make plans with her. So he closed his eyes, took a deep breath after calming down and feeling the air move in his lungs he sat back down.

"Michael, I'm only telling you this because... because... everytime I have something, and it's good for me... you swoop into my mind! Claiming it! Overtaking it! Like, like my whole world is supposed to belong to you! I feel guilt! I actually feel bad when I'm happy or having fun with someone else! It's not fair, and I hate it. Do you understand me? I hate it!"

As she stood up, she threw her hands over her face to cover the tears that were now pouring out uncontrollably. She didn't like crying. It was a weakness and by him seeing her cry it showed her weakness, and he was her weakness.

Michael jumped up and ran to grab Scarlett and pull her into his arms.

She pushed him away at first, shouting at him to stop. Beating her fists on his chest.

"Michael please! You don't understand. It hurts! Seeing you. It just hurts so badly!"

She cried, pushing him away from her.

"Hearing your voice? Just your smell sets me in such a dark place I don't even know how I breathe half the time. I can't stand it!"

Giving up, she fell into his arms. As he held her, feeling her tears wash over his arms, it tore at his mind.

I caused this

I did this to her

Pulling her in front of him to see her face.

"Scarlett! Listen to me. Listen, you are not weak. You're probably the strongest woman I know. And I know I hurt you and if you tell me to go away and never come back I will. If I even know you're near I'll hide. I'll make sure you never even know I was ever there."

As she cried harder in his shoulder, he figured that was something that she wanted.

To forget he ever existed.

So he pulled back, away from her and gently stood up.

"Is that what you want Scarlett? Because I love you enough to never see you again if that's what you want. If that's what you tell me to do I will do it."

She looked up into his eyes, full of hurt and sadness and... deep in his blue iris's, she could see fear.

Fear that he would never see her again. She didn't want that anymore than he did.

"Michael... I... I thought you didn't love me anymore? How do you expect me to get over someone who confesses his love to me? How do I get past this? How do WE get past this?"

As he closes his eyes, he moves closer to her, and pulls her into his arms, looking deep into her eyes as he sweeps a fallen hair back behind her ear, then wipes away the last tear he ever wants her shedding for him.

"I guess you don't."

Wrapping her into his arms, his lips crash down onto hers. Feeling the familiar soft feel touching her soft moving skin. In sync with eachother as always... Instinctivly, she began to pull away, only to pull his face back to hers, and wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

As she let's his fingertips graze her cheeks where her tears once flowed, their lips part again. Cradling her head as he deepens the kiss. Walking them both backwards to the light switch, then... back over to the bed.