Smoke

20: Bathrooms

Every day I had been worrying about what role I would get, if any.
Oliver had been talking to me in the bus, reassuring me that I would get the role. I was only half-listening, and I didn't believe him.
I could feel the heat in my breath, the smoke in my lungs. I couldn't breathe the whole way.

I wasn't supposed to hold it back, but now was not the time to be smoking up a bus.
"You'll get the part. And I will too." He nodded at me, smiling. I nodded back, not meeting his eyes.

I was choking as the bus stopped at the school. The smoke was overwhelming right now. I could feel it in my lungs, throat, nose, congesting me.

Getting off the bus, I ran to the bathrooms. Oliver was probably looking at me questioningly, but then again, why would he care.
I heard my footsteps pound against the tile, and I pulled myself into a stall, closing the door quickly behind me. The air was silent, except for the cold air conditioner blowing. My skin was cold with the early morning.

I could feel my breaths building up.
I wouldn't get the role.
I was choking, holding back the smoke. I felt weak and light.

I wouldn't get any friends.
Puffs of smoke escaped my mouth, pulling up through my throat with a burning sensation.

I was freaking out in a bathroom in a school that I never would've gone to if I didn't have this power. I would still have friends, I would still be okay, if I didn't have to deal with this, if I didn't have to switch schools.

I finally was suffocating, and opened my mouth, sucking in air and gagging out smoke.
It pulled out of me, rising above me. My body was on fire. The smoke curled in the air and into my face.
It got darker, thicker, as it rose.

The fire came. It was bright and hot in my throat. I felt sick, nauseous, and felt it burn the air around me. I could feel the heat, could see it glow from inside my mouth. The flames were rising and flicking and burning, black smoke coming from it.

I coughed, gagged, out of breath. The fire burned the air but was wasn't even singeing me. It still sucked out oxygen, still was a numbing heat in my mouth.

No way could I be in a normal school, could I be in the play, could I have friends when I did this, freaking out in a bathroom, smoking out the school.

It was a wonder the fire alarms didn't go off.
The air was thick with the smoke when the fire finally stuttered out, finally sank back down inside of me.
The smoke eventually somewhat dissipated, and I waited in the bathroom, still and silent, my body burning.

I shakily took out my phone, calling Mom. She didn't answer, and the bell rang.

I closed my eyes, feeling defeated and empty and sick. My face was flushed and my skin was numb and hot, but I walked out of the stall. The air was thick with smoke, and smelled like something was burning.

At least I was all out of smoke to exhale, at least for right now, I thought.
But as I walked to class, I could still see dark strands rise out of my mouth, and my stomach dropped and heart sank and skipped beats. I wasn't out of smoke, not at all.

This power has ruined everything, I thought, trudging to class.