Smoke

13: Talking

I sat on the bus with Oliver, thinking about Skill Management class. The bus rattled and shook as it headed home. I leaned into the seat, frustrated, turning my head to the window.

Mother probably had better teachers. Skill Management was probably a completely different class than what it is now. They probably actually taught her.

If Skill Management was the class I switched schools for, then there was no point in switching at all. I lost my friends for nothing. I lost everything I had to be at this new school which gave me nothing--
"Cecil?" Oliver was looking at me.
"What?" I asked quietly, pushing away my bitter feelings.
"You're back?" He asked jokingly.
"Yeah, sorry. I was kind of out of it." I apologized, looking back at him.
"Don't worry about it. Happens to me, too." He said, smiling. "Anyway, what are you trying out for in the play?" He asked, turning more towards me.

"Oh, uh, maybe Juliet." I shrugged. The bus shook as we talked.
"That's ambitious." He smiled. "Why Juliet?" He asked, keeping a conversation going.

"We did Romeo and Juliet last year, at my old school, so I already know most of the lines." I shrugged, remembering it. My stomach twisted, thinking about my friends.

"Who did you perform as?" He asked gently, seeing my expression on thinking about my old school.
"Well, I was one of the citizens." I said, smiling embarrassedly, rubbing the back of my neck.
"A step up from last year, then." He chuckled.
"Yeah, a big step." I laughed. "Who are you performing as?"

"Maybe Benvolio." He shrugged. "What do you think?"
"That's a good choice. He suits you." I smiled, nodding, trying to imagine him performing it on stage.
There was a slight pause in the conversation. I tried nervously catching my breath, unused to talking to people, as Oliver thought about something.

"I might not get it, though. He puts juniors and seniors in higher priority with casting." He shrugged.
"Oh. Well, then, I might not get Juliet, either." I said, thinking about all the upperclassmen in our drama class. There were a lot who probably wanted the main roles.
"No, I think you have a shot." He shook his head.

"I think you have a shot, also." I said, nodding, feeling the end of the conversation.

Turning my head away, I looked out the window, seeing streets and cars pass by. As others talked and left at their stops, my thoughts drifted back to Skill Management class.

My mind thickened with frustration, and I tried to imagine what would happen that would make the class so important.
The bus stopped, and Oliver moved to get up. I turned towards him suddenly.

"Oliver, do you learn anything in skill management?" I asked quickly. He turned towards me, standing up, slinging his backpack onto his shoulder. I hoped he heard me, and I was about to open my mouth to ask my question again.
He nodded, meeting my eyes. "It gets way better." He smiled. I nodded back, reassured slightly, seeing him turn away and walk off the bus.

I looked back out the window, waiting for my stop, trying to picture, again, why the class was so important.