Smoke

35: Thoughts

"How's it going?" Danny asked, taking a seat on the floor in front of me, leaning back with his arms supporting his body weight.

"Fine." I said simply. He would definitely not accept that as an answer. But I didn't want to say anything. My eyes skipped up to him, back down when I saw he was watching me.

I didn't want to use my power in public, I thought, looking away from my feet, away from him. The rest of the auditorium was preoccupied with their own tasks.

"Why not?" He asked me quietly, and I looked back at him, hearing his voice. My face reddened, now knowing that he was reading my thoughts this whole time.

"I think you know why." I said stubbornly, mad, my body tensing. I looked back to the girl, using her power freely, with close to complete control over it.

He sighed quietly, and I looked at him again.
"I don't mean to- to read your thoughts all the time."

"Then why do you?" I asked, face probably red, feeling the smoke in my stomach.

"Your thoughts," he paused, glancing at me then away, "are easiest f- for me to read." He responded, his voice still quiet.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, eyebrows furrowing. He sighed again.

"I don't know. I... Maybe I get what you're going through." He shrugged, looking away. I watched him. He looked almost as confused as me. He looked concerned.

I went silent, listening to my heartbeat, to everyone's shuffling shoes and the buzzing auditorium lights. He finally looked back at me, and I looked away, at my feet.

"Well," I said, then paused and closed my mouth. I tried to think through what I was going to say, not that it mattered anyway. "I still don't want you reading my thoughts."

"I'll try not to." I saw him nodding out of the corner of my eye, looking at me. "But, back to the topic," He smiled at me, "you need to prac- practice using your smoke, okay?" He said, and I nodded, staring at his smile, before I stopped and thought it through.

"But I, uh," I started. I wasn't ready to use it in public yet, I finished in my thoughts.

He sighed, looking at me and away.
"Just... do what you can, okay? Any practice is- is good. It doesn't have t- to be in public." He smiled slightly, sweetly, and nodded. "Just try." Danny said and got up, meeting my eyes a last time before he went to the next person.

I sat in the auditorium the next few minutes, thinking about that conversation and him and trying not to. I felt the smoke in my lungs, the fire in my stomach, and slowly let it out like I did at home yesterday. Just enough to try, not enough to cause a scene.

My stomach was rising and dropping as I did so, but I contained my anxiousness. I let out thin strands of smoke, my breath stuttering every time I looked at Danny and he looked back from wherever he was. My heartbeat was quick and nervous, but I was controlling it enough to let a thin, barely visible stream out. When it stopped and dispersed into the air, my mouth closed, I felt my heart beating loudly.

The smoke tickled my throat, and I fought multiple coughs. But I had done it in public. I had controlled it enough.