E

{twenty}

chapter twenty~

Ellias is home. My palms are sweaty and I'm freaking the fudge out wondering what he's going to say. Cody had managed to calm me during the 2 hours in between when I woke up and now. But now that I can hear the footsteps of Ellias, and Cody went into my room so we could talk, I'm back to being my distressed self.

His tall and intimidating self-walks right towards me into my upwards glance view. Although his intimidating structure has vanished and I see before me the broken down mess of a boy he has become since the last I saw him. Tears streak his hard face and gun residue covers his tight black shirt.

Oops, he did it again—wait why am I making a joke right now? This is horrible how could he do this to himself again?

"Who did you hurt?! How could you do this, I mean come on you said you wouldn't. I guess I'm just goi—"

He comes closer as I continue to yell at him and pester him. I realize this and stop mid-sentence to understand what he is doing.

He hugs me so tightly that I fear my body will be squished until I can't breathe. His head is buried in the crook of my neck and I feel fresh hot tears run down my collarbone and down my chest. Ellias's large hands grasp my shoulder blades, and his whole body is still.

The room and all of the household noises fade out and all I can feel and hear is the warmth I feel from him, along with the soft hum of a cry I hear come from his throat. And I can't help but want to stay like this for eternity with him.

But we can't, and I won't live for eternity with Ellias being this destroyed.

"Tell me." My voice is softer and I want to hear his truth before I get too mad at him, I can't stand being mad at him.

He takes a moment to sigh and a few long deep breaths, before mumbling still in my neck, "I killed everyone, everyone. The blood is all on my hands, and I did it for a totally unworthy reason. I hate him, hate him."

"I see. Well, why don't you take me there and see if we can fix anything." I whisper into his hair as I kiss his head gently and lift his face up with my dainty hands. The truth is, I don't see. But that's why I want him to take us there, so I can see. I want to help him because I'm in this forever.

With his face in my hands, he nods slowly his eyes still looking low and a saddened expression is glossed over them. He's only human.

❤︎☾

Tonight is the night I did not expect. Tonight I did not expect to see the one place I wished I could go back to. Home.

Ellias drove us slowly and solemnly over to my neighborhood. He doesn't know, and I can't bring myself to tell him.

And so, we carry on up onto the all familiar driveway. I can still see the warm colorful sky, small white 1998 Ford Taurus, and sirens sounding all around. The holes in the walls, blood stains, silence. I start to feel my eyes water, and I attempt to control them. But, once I see dead bloodied bodies scattered across the yard I can't do anything to stop myself from falling to the ground. A sobbing mess.

Ellias, as he does, sits down in front me and pulls me into his lap as he holds my shaking body still. He thinks I'm crying because of what he has done, which is pretty bad, but I don't want him to think it's his fault I'm crying when it's not.

"It's not because of this," I gesture to the death surrounding us on my front yard. "It's just that this was my home, and of course you could have never known that. It just, you know, reminds me of that night and I don't know I just—" My breathing pace increased but they became unsteady and Ellias kissed my cheek to calm me. His lips stayed in that place, warmth in the cold around us.

"It's all just too much. I get it." He says whilst keeping his lips brushed on my cheek.

We sit here for what seems like seconds, but actually eternity. Just in each other's arms, looking out to all of the long-gone people. I, decide to learn each person and I name them as best I can. They don't deserve this no matter what they did to cause it. Ellias agrees. I know he hates what he did, and he will forever carry this weight across his broad shoulders. But, I will help him. Piece by piece we will pick up his shattered soul and build it back up, starting with getting up and burying all of these men and women in a proper place where they can be respected.

I stand up slowly, reaching my hand out for Ellias to grab it. And he does. I direct him to collect the bodies while I walk over to my mom's grave just past the trees behind my house. I find a shovel on my way, grabbing it and digging eleven 6x6 holes on the right and left of her. Silent tears roll down my cheeks as I know that mom would never turn away these people's respect, even if they did kill her to use our house.

It takes me quite a few hours to complete the holes, even with Ellias's help once he finished bringing all of the people over here. I just hope it's not illegal to bury people if they aren't your family, or if you killed them.

We finish burying them all and saying a little something special for each one in the span of about another hour. Even though we didn't really know them at all.

Some may say this is a big risk, why with taking hours to bury people who you could be sent to jail for killing. But it seems to be helping Ellias with having closure and hopefully, he understands how the families of the people he killed would feel. Hopefully, this will encourage him to leave this all behind, for real this time. Even if we have to live on the run from his family for the rest of our lives, so be it.

And with finishing our task, Ellias drives us home. The mood is lighter than earlier and we must be looking over at each other about every five seconds to give each other a comforting look. The next task is to move him out and away from his dead silent home that holds too many unhappy memories, and it's effective immediately.

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songs: "Raindrops" -ariana grande

a/n don't you just love it when an author doesn't update for like ever and now she is and u still hate her bc she probs won't update for another eternity after this one!

wellll, hopefully u liked it and hopefully i will update again sooner than a month lol ;))

JUST KEEP YELLING AT ME LIKE THIS UNTIL I UPDATE AGAIN

until next time sexy secrets,

⚬sk⚬
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