"Hey, sweety. Fall is already starting there. I'm sure it's getting colder now. Magsuot ka ng makapal na coat, okay? I don't want you to get sick. Always keep your door and windows locked. Saka huwag kang masyadong magpapagod sa trabaho. If you need anything, call us. Your Dad, siblings and I miss you so much." It was a voice message from Mom.
I sighed heavily and pressed the button to make it stop before the next message played. I'd been living in California for the past four years now. Bumibisita naman sina Mama at Daddy dito, they visit almost every two months. Minsan pati yung mga kapatid ko. I miss home but I couldn't get myself to set foot in the Philippines. Mas mabuting dito na lang ako. Hindi ko kayang tumapak doon na alam kong hanggang ngayon malay pa rin ang gumawa sa akin ng kahayupang iyon. Mom and Dad never quit. Hanggang ngayon hinahanap pa din nila ang dumukot at gumahasa sa akin. Dad swore he would never stop until he finds them.I went to the bathroom and took my clothes off. Much as I didn't want to, I couldn't help but lower my gaze and touched the scar embedded on my left breast. I was branded like a farmyard animal and no amount of skin laser therapy could ever remove this. I went into the shower when I realized that I was going to be late for work. I worked as a librarian at a local public library just a few miles away from my house. I overstayed in bed again so now I had to rush. I wore a red cashmere sweater, a black skirt, dark stocking underneath it, and a pair of brown leather boots. I grabbed my keys and made sure all my windows and doors were locked before heading to my car. I started my car and drove to our local library.
"Good morning, Mrs. Keri." I greeted the old woman with a smile as I walked in, Ms. Keri was the head librarian for over three decades now. She was at her workspace, busy sorting out the returned books.
"Good morning, darling. How's the weather outside?" She gave me a sweet smile. She had genuine love for her work, she wouldn't last this long if she didn't. This old dusty library had been my life for the past years I'd been here. This may seem like a boring job but I'd rather deal with books than people. This place gave me the quiet I needed.
"Getting colder." I took off my brown coat and hang it on the rack. It was nice and warm in here.
"Good thing it doesn't snow in California. But my God, have you seen the trees? Mother nature has outdone herself this season." Her voice even though raspy from smoking cigarettes, was cheery and welcoming as always.
"I'm going to put these books away." I said, pushing one of the two book carts full of, well, books.
"Hold on there, darling." She said before I could even take my second step. She closed the book in front of her and stack it up along with the books she'd already scanned. "If I were to set you up on a date with my sweet nephew, what would you say?"
"No, thank you." I politely answered.
"My nephew's name is Edward. He's a smart young man, very kind and polite. He's always clean and well-groomed. Give yourself a chance to get to know him. I'm sure you'll like him."
"I don't think I'm ready to meet anyone yet." I shrugged.
"Oh, darling." She exaggeratedly put her hand to her forehead just like in those old hollywood films. "What are you doing? Wasting your pretty face on this old, smelly library? I've never heard you talk about any guy in all the time we've worked together."
"There haven't been any." My eyes lowered. "Dating is not my priority right now."
"If I could bring back my youth and look as pretty as you, I'd be dating left and right by now." She shook her head, looking disappointed. "Would Saturday be good?"
I shook my head. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Keri. I have an appointment on Saturday."
I meet with my therapist every Saturday. Cindy had helped me recover from the trauma of what had happened to me. I used to get really vivid flashbacks before. It was like watching a film of the assault, it felt like reliving it again and again. It was hard at first but having someone to talk about it was a big help. Over time, the flashbacks lessened and I started to live normally again but to this day it still sometimes visits me in my dreams.
