"Audrey..." Callum hugged me from behind. I turned to face him and wrapped my arms around his waist. His head leaned down to mine and we shared a gentle kiss together.
"Why did you leave me downstairs? Why have you been locking yourself in here all day?"
I spent all day in my room. I went down to have dinner earlier and then I went back to my room. I just took a shower and was getting ready for bed when Callum came in. Callum had quickly gotten along with my family. He, Kuya Miggy, Coco, Dad, and Tito Axel were talking and having drinks when I left them in their 'man cave'. It was the room where Dad, my Dad's friends, and my brothers all hang out when they get together.
"I'm still tired from the trip." I lowered my gaze from his. The truth is I couldn't stand being around the child. Hindi ko siya kayang tignan. I tried to stay as far away as possible from him. I did not want to see him, I did not want to hear him, I did not want to communicate with him. I didn't like the feelings he makes me feel whenever he's around. Alam kong ramdam iyon ni Mama, Dad, at ng mga kapatid ko. They too tried to keep him away from me.
"Okay, we'll rest. I'm just going to take a quick shower." He kissed me on the forehead.
I nodded my head. He walked towards the bathroom door but paused midway.
"I almost forgot." He took something out from his pocket and handed me a blue paper.
"Arthur told me to give this to you. Welcome home present niya daw sa'yo."
I didn't want to take it but I didn't have a good reason to tell Callum as to why. I hesitantly lifted my hand to take the blue paper.
"The boy's such a sweet heart, Love. I feel sorry that we forgot to bring him anything. Hindi tayo nakapamili ng pasalubong kahit para sa mga bata lang. Good thing he loved my guitar. He's really interested in learning how to play it. I have a feeling that we're going to get along pretty nicely." He said, turning his back to me once more and walking to the bathroom.
I looked down and saw the paper crumpled tightly in my hands. Rip it and throw it out, I told myself. But instead I found myself opening the folded paper. It had on it a drawing of a female stick figure holding hands with a smaller figure in a big heart.
My heart sank. I sat on the edge of the bed and tears began to drip down the paper. I couldn't love the boy. Hindi ko kayang mahalin ang batang hindi ko ginusto. Tuwing lumalapit siya sa akin pakiramdam ko ang dumi-dumi ko. Hindi lang nila ako binaboy, I also had to carry their child. And I had to live with it for rest of my life.
I wiped away my tears and hid the paper in my bedside table when I heard the shower in the bathroom stop. Humiga na ako sa kama. Callum walked out of the bathroom with a white towel wrapped around his waist. He put on a pajama bottom and slipped into bed with me.
He wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me against him and kissing my shoulder.
"Callum..." I quietly said as we lay in bed.
"Mm?" He murmured lazily, his face buried into the crook of my neck.
"You were great with my family, especially with the kids." I raised one hand to run my fingers through his thick dark hair. "Thank you."
"You don't have to thank me. Now that I'm your husband, they too are my family. What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine." He nuzzles against my skin. "I want to have our own baby someday."
"Cal." I was slightly baffled.
"I'm not in any hurry, Love. I know we just got married and we're still getting to know each other more. I just never expected I'd enjoy being around kids."
"Maybe in the future, maybe a year from now, pwede na tayong magkaron ng baby. It's a huge responsibility." I sighed heavily.
I wonder how he'd react if he finds out what about Arthur. When he finds out that before our child, I had already carried and gave birth to the child of the man who'd violated and abused me. Mandidiri din ba siya sa akin katulad ng pandidiri ko sa sarili ko?
