Today was harder than most. It was my twenty fifth birthday. It had been exactly four years ago since 'that' happened. My birthdays were the worst days as I remember the abuse more vividly. There were alot of questions running through my head, alot of regrets. If I didn't sneak out that night, if I just stayed in my room, if I didn't go to that club my life would've been normal. I wouldn't be like this. Maybe I would've had the family I'd always dreamt of by now. I was at the wrong place at the wrong time.
I couldn't muster the strength to get out of bed. I couldn't function. I laid in bed and just stared at the ceiling, wishing the day away. I wished I could just skip this day. Would I ever be normal again? Hanggang kailan ba 'to? Kailan ako makakawala sa bangungot na ito?
The doorbell rang, pulling me out of my trance. Who could that be? I wasn't expecting anyone. I forced myself up and went to get the door. I looked through the peephole and saw Callum there. My heart started beating a little faster just like it always does when he's around. Callum and I had gone out a few times already. I wouldn't say they were dates, just casual coffee catch ups. Sometimes instead of doing therapy in his office, we do it outside. There was this one time I didn't bring my car with me because I had washed and he insisted on dropping me off.
Callum was a very interesting person. Ngayon lang ulit ako nalapit sa isang lalaki na hindi part ng family ko. He was funny, witty, and he understands me. Well, it was part of his job as a psychiatrist to try to understand. He's very professional during therapy sessions but I get to see his real personality when it's over. He'd tell me funny stories and stupid jokes and little by little I got to know him better and better. One thing I love most about being around him was that for the first time in a long time, I felt safe around a guy. He makes me feel like I'm going to be alright. I reminded myself to call Cindy and thank her for this. She said having a male therapist would be good for me, this cognitive behavioral therapy she said was really working.
I cracked the door open just enough to peek out with one eyes. "Hi."
"Hey, Audrey." He flashed a stunning hollywood A-list smile at me. I had to swallow a sigh.
"What are you doing here?" I asked in a tiny voice.
"You didn't come to therapy today so I came to you."
"You didn't have to. I'm sorry I can't let you in." Although I was already comfortable around him and I knew I could trust him, I still couldn't get myself to let a man into my house.
"That's fine by me." Kibit bakat na sabi niya. "I don't think I want to go in anyway. I'm enjoying the nice weather out here today."
I pressed my lips together, trying to hide my smile.
"You want something to drink?" I asked."A glass of water will do."
"Sandali lang." I said, shutting the door and going to my kitchen. I got him a glass of water and I was about to head back to him when I heard a tap on my kitchen window.
Halos mahulog ang baso sa gulat ng makita ko siya sa bintana. He waved at me and a small chuckle rose from my throat. I pulled my kitchen window open.
"Ano'ng ginagawa mo diyan?"
"I was actually just admiring the flowers around your house and then I saw you. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you or seem stalkerish." He said, apologetically.
"It's okay." I handed him a glass of water.
"Thanks." He took it from me.
"Don't you have any other patients?"
"You know, the funny thing is I'm not supposed to be taking any patients on the weekends. I only made an exception for you because Dr. Miller said you're only free on Saturdays and Sundays. You're my one and only patient today."
