I had been watching Arthur and Callum run around the backyard, barefoot, since getting home from school. After getting tired of playing, Callum went in to get their guitar so they could have a mini concert and their audience was none other than me, I entertained him for a bit and played with him while Callum was inside.
"This little piggy went to the market, this little piggy stayed home, this little piggy had roast beef, this little pig had none and this little piggy..." I said, holding up Arthur's last toe, the smallest one. He was already grinning from ear to ear, anticipating what I'd do next. I made a dramatic pause just so that I could surprise him. Then I tickled his feet and he began wiggling and laughing. "This little piggy cried wee wee all the way home!"
"Ate Drey!" He hysterically laughed as I tickled his foot.
I stopped after when he couldn't catch his breath from laughing so much. "Tama na. Baka kabagin ka na niyan."
"Ate Drey, I want to play more!" He excitedly said.
"Aren't you tired yet? I asked, brushing my fingers through his thick hair.
"No! I like playing with you! Ngayon lang kasi ikaw nakipagplay sa akin kasi dati ayaw mo. Kaya nagwawatch lang ako pag nag peplay kayo ni Cookie but sometimes I get jealous. Now I get to play with you!" He happily said. His innocence was heartwarming and heart shattering at the same time. I couldn't imagine the pain and jealousy he felt at that time. It was him who I should be loving more but instead all I ever gave him were heartaches.
"Oh, Arthur. I'm sorry." I hugged him really tight, the tightest I could. As if it would make up for all the times I didn't get to hug him like this. I felt his soft, little body against mine. I inhaled his scent and I never wanted it to go away.
"Why?" He said, sounding puzzled.
"Because I never got to play with you when you wanted someone to play with." My voice squeaked, feeling like something was stuck in my throat.
"But now and tomorrow and the tomorrow after tomorrow you'll play with me again?" He asked.
I nodded my head. "I will always be here to play you."
"When Mama and Daddy comes back, you and Dr. Callum will go back to America. Paano tayo magpeplay? " He pouted.
"Pwede naman tayong mag video call katulad ng ginagawa niyo ni Mama at Daddy ngyon habang nasa vacation sila." I said, tears stinging in my eyes.
"You will talk to me? Kasi kapag nagcacall ka kay Mama di kita nakakausap." His usual vibrant hazel eyes turned sad.
"I'll talk to you. I'll call you and we'll talk every day." I said, keeping my tears in. "Palagi mo akong kukwentuhan kung ano ang ginawa niyo sa school, ha? Kung kailangan mo ng help sa homework mo, nandito ako. Ikwento mo sa akin kung may new friends ka o kung may award kang nakuha. Tell me all the good and bad things that happened to you and Ate Drey will always listen to you."
He nodded his head.
"Pinky swear?" I held out my pinky finger.
"Pinky swear!" He entwined his pinky with mine.
"Halika nga ditto! Give Ate Drey your tightest bear hug! Katulad ng hug mo kay Dr. Callum." I said.
And he did. He hugged me and the smile on my face collapsed. Mas mabuti na yung ganito. Mabuti na yung siyang alam na hindi niya ako Ate. It would hurt him if he finds out that Mama and Dad were not his real parents. Maguguluhan lang siya. Masaya naman siya kina Mama at mahal na mahal nila si Arthur. They gave the love I never gave to him while he was growing up. I knew it would hurt to leave but this was for the best. This was for him. I wanted him to live a normal life and to have a normal family.
