Our lips didn't break as we stumbled inside. His lips felt like home. I surrendered to him without any thought. This felt right. I'd never felt this right with a man before. I have had a boyfriend back when I was a teenager. We did kiss but I didn't feel anything close to what Callum's making me feel.
He brushed his lips lightly against mine. Nipped the top lip and then the bottom. It was as though he was savouring a delicacy. Then his teeth nip my lips. A gentle swipe of his his before finally thrusting it in. I welcomed him in, mimicking the movements of his.
His hands swiped over my sides, caressing them. I tried to push my fears aside. He wasn't going to hurt me like how they had. Hindi siya katulad nila. Hindi siya masama. I kept reassuring myself that I was doing this for me. I wanted to get myself back. I wanted to get back the piece of myself they stole from me.
We stumbled into his room and then pulled away, sucking air into our deprived lungs. Callum looked at me straight in the eyes. I tried to hide the trembles that slowly crept inside my body, waiting for the opportunity to get out. I was ready to do this... or at least I wanted to. I wanted to forget what they did to me, erase it from my mind– my body.
"Audrey..." He softly said, cupping my cheek with one hand. "Have you been intimate with anyone after what happened?"
I lowered my eyes and shook my head.
"Do you think you're ready for this?"
I swallowed and then met his eyes. "I want to... Tulungan mo ako, Callum. Guide me. Show me what to do."
"I don't want you to force yourself." He wrapped his arms on the small of my waist and kissed me on the forehead.
My eyes were fixed on his lips and I brought my fingers to trace them. "I trust you, Callum. You make me feel safe and protected. Hindi ba sabi mo sa akin you're going to erase all the bad memories?"
He crashed his lips back to mine and we kissed again. We kissed with so much passion. I became bold and let my hands ran over his body. His body was solid and soft at the same time. I had never touched a man the way I was touching him. I started unbuttoning his button down shirt and felt his skin against my hands. I didn't feel helpless or disgusting as he kissed and touched me.
"Is it okay if I..." He gently asked, eyeing on my shirt. Him asking permission made me feel empowered and in control of the whole situation. It made me feel more secure that he wouldn't do anything I wouldn't want.
I chewed on my lower lip. I got a little nervous. They left a scar on me and I was afraid he'd be horrified and wouldn't want me after he sees it.
"It's okay if you're not ready. Audrey, you don't have to feel bad." Lumamlam ang mga mata niya. "Maiintindihan ko kung hindi ka pa handa.
"My hand shook as I grabbed the hem of my shirt and lifted it up. I unhooked my bra and let it fall to the ground. Cold air brushed against my body. I fought the urge to cover myself up when his eyes lowered. His eyes stopped on my right breast. I wanted to cry while he was looking at me. Something shifted in his dark, dark eyes.
It smelled like something was burning. I moved, trying to pull my hands from the rope that bound them. My body had been badly abused already. My thighs hurt from having spread open. My private part and my rear was sore and swollen from being used. They had raped me, they put things in me. What they were planning to do next? Burn me alive?
"A-ano'ng gagawin mo sa akin?" I asked.
I felt someone straddle my torso so I couldn't move. I tried to kick him but my legs were held down by someone. I could feel the burning scent even stronger now. I screamed when I felt an intense burning pain on my left breast, just above my nipple. It was excruciating- painful beyond what I could ever imagine. My whole body shivered with pain as the hand pressed the hot iron even harder against me.
