Save Me From Myself|Calum Hood FanFiction

Chapter Three|Voices

"Thank you.." I whispered warmly as one last tear rolled down my cheek.

Calum was still  rocking me gently and holding me tight and close. It felt so nice to know that he actually did care, that he wanted to help me. He wasn't scared or disgusted by the cuts that layered my arms, and he wanted to make me happy! I knew he didn't love me or anything like that.. but just wanted to help.  I felt warm and tingly as I repeated everything he said to me and how much he looked like he meant it. No one had ever been that nice to me.

"I need to get my stuff for staying nights in the motel across the street, okay? I'll be back soon. Can you manage on your own?" Calum said sweetly, letting go of me and holding me by the waist.

"Don't stay in the motel! You don't need to, I'll be fine on my own here!", I whined.

"Elsie! I'm staying by you!" he argued back, raising his eyebrows sternly.

"No!" I told him, folding my arms and frowning deeply.

He laughed at my grumpy face and rolled his eyes. I knew I had won the argument.

"You need to go to sleep now. Its late."

"Your not my father!" I joked with him but doing as I was told as I snuggled into the cold bed.

He chuckled at me as he lay a fluffy blanket ontop of me. He kissed my forhead gently, making me blush vividly.

"I'll be back tomorrow morning okay?" Calum said, standing up and throwing on his hoodie.

I nodded and watched him walk out of the room. I could still feel his kiss, like it was scarred onto me. His breath was so warm and comforting. That sounds weird. But, thats what it was like. I've never been kissed on the forhead by a boy before. Yeah, I've had boyfriends who have kissed me, but never cutely and romantically like they give a shit. Calum was different, I guess. A good kind of different.

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Your so worthless! Look at you, cutting your arms because you feel alone and not in control. Hahaha! Pathetic. Shouldn't of pushed them all away, then you'd have friends. But, they'd probably leave you anyway because your too much of a burden and a fuck up. Everyone would be happy if you drank all that bleach, your too scared to though. Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic. Just die. Just fucking die! No one would miss you, never. Your just worthless and a waste of space. No one cares about you, not even Calum. He just feels sorry for you. He'll leave you as soon as you get out of here..

I woke up screaming in fear. Sweat smothering my face and tears rushing down my cheeks. I cried in shrieks as I shook constantly in a panic of anxiety.

"Shhh! Hey! Hey! Hey! Its okay!" Calum grabbed me and picked me up.

He sat me on my knee as I curled up into a little ball like a toddler. My shoulders shook as I continued to screech in tears, this time slightly muffled by Calums jumper. 'Worthless' 'Pathetic' 'Waste of space' 'Just die' rattled around my head. The voices were right, I should just die, no one would miss me.

"It was just a bad dream.." he whispered into my ear.

Nurses were stood around, telling Calum what to do, how to calm me down, how to stop me from panicking but he didn't listen. He just continued to hold me, his hands wrapped around mine and his chin buried on top of my hair. I started calming down, listening to his steady heartbeat and being comforted by his little kisses on my head, each time hushing 'its okay, I got you'.

"Your meant to be at home.. not here.." I murmered into his chest when my breathing was steady.

"I always win arguments. I'm staying in the hospital. Theres a bed next door for me but I'm not leaving you" he softly replied, stroking my back.

I groaned and let him put me back in bed, wrapping the rough covers around me like a burrito. Soon later a nurse came in with a clipboard and pen.

"Hello Elsie, how are you feeling now?" she asked me, sitting down by my feet on the steel frame of the bed.

"Better" I replied, not even looking at her, playing with my fingers.

"Can you tell me what happened?" the nurse asked kindly.

"I had a bad dream. I get them sometimes. I get voices in my head telling me how worthless,pathetic I am. Saying I need to die, no one would miss me"

She started jotting things down on her clipboard. I looked over at Calum, making sure he wasn't too freaked out. His lip quivered and tears filled his dark eyes, making them glisten like icing on a cake. He cupped his mouth to stop him from wimpering. Why did he care for me that much? I looked down, feeling confused yet sad that I meant so much to him. I was such a burden.

"Must be scary.." the nurse sighed.

No shit, Sherlock.

"Anyway, I'll let you sleep now. If it happens again, your in capable hands. We didn't even need to help! Thank you! Your a big help", she patted Calum on the shoulder and left.

I shuffled down into bed, letting tears prick up my eyes.

"I'm so sorry.." I croaked out, starting to cry quietly.

"Don't be. I want to get you better, Elsie. I don't care that we only met two nights ago. I feel like I've known you forever."

He clenched his teeth as little salty teardrops fell down his face. We stared at each other and cried. It was a weird moment but he held my hand. We just cried and cried, looking into each others watery eyes.