Save Me From Myself|Calum Hood FanFiction

Chapter Eight|The Perfect Dress

I wandered around the shopping mall, hot with anxiety and sweating with fear. It sounds like I was stuck in some kind of horror movie, with ghosts haunting the abandoned mall. No. Shopping is a big thing for me, my anxiety has got worse over the months and going shopping in a big place like London is a huge task. There's the trying on in the fitting rooms part, then theres the asking for help part, theres also the paying for something you've shakily picket out bit. But, my least favourite bit, the one that gets me the most is the buying and picking food. I have a massive problem around food with my anxiety. I can't let people see me eat, I can't let people see me buy food and I also can't let people see me picking out food. Its impossible to do this so I'm always on the verge of a panic attack or tears when I start to feel hungry. Its not so bad with drinks, like Costa. But, picking out a muffin and eating it in public is just too much. So, normally I pick my Sticky Toffee Pudding Ice Cooler from Costa, pay for it politely yet sweatily and leave, walking down the street sucking on the red straw. I always feel that little bit more confident and less anxious after I've done that.

I walked into a shop called Blue Inc. I smile spread across the guy at the tills face. I love this shop, the workers always ask if you need help so you don't have to do it yourself which is perfect for someone like me. If Mum doesn't want me buying anything to dark, I always come here. They have gorgeous stuff that I adore and it isn't all black. Its really cheap too and you can find whatever your looking for. It doesn't get as much popularity and customers as it deserves though but I'm okay with that because it means its never busy. I started flicking through the dresses on the rack, all under ten pounds. I picked out three and went into the fitting room to try them on. One was a beautiful dusky galaxy print, it was a bodycon dress and clinged to me just above my knee. It looked alright but not something for a wedding. I could wear it with my leather jacket and tights though so I hung it up, knowing I was going to buy it. The next dress was a pretty bodycon dress too. It was mid length and a sort of jungle print, neon flowers and leaves were scattered across it. I slipped it on, not knowing what to expect. As soon as I looked in the mirror a bright beam shone across my face. It looked amazing. I've never found a dress that looked so perfect on me. The wedding was in three weeks so my cuts should be gone by then, only leavng scars and they weren't too obvious. My goal was to be clean for three weeks, otherwise I would ruin this beautiful little outfit. I did a little dance as I twirled around in the dress, a small giggle even slipped out. I didn't even bother to try the other dress on as I ran to the till, handing the muscular black guy fifteen pounds.

"Thanks very much!", I squealed as I skipped out of the shop, sparks of joy filling my body.

I decided to text Calum as I was in such a good mood. The sun had decided to make an appearance and I felt happy. I didn't want to kill myself. I didin't want to cut. It felt so good to not be upset or worrying.

Hey you! Come over!? Missing you too much ;) xx

As I closed the front door of my house he replied.

Okeey! I'll be over in half an hour! xx

I hung my dress up in my bedroom and took a picture of it and sent it to Mum, my fingers tightly crossed, hoping she would love it.