Save Me From Myself|Calum Hood FanFiction

Chapter Thirteen|Mum

As I slammed the door shut I rushed to my bedroom, locking the door and leaning against the radiator to keep me warm. I wasn't going to cut. I had promised myself that before I left to speak to Calum, I wouln't let myself do that. I almost didn't want to either, I felt so sad and upset, I had lost the most amazing boy ever, I let him slip through my fingers, but I was so stunned by everything that had happened it almost didn't go through my mind. It just sort of sat there, I knew by next week I would be suicidal and screaming in tears because I missed him so much and because I was back to being the old me again but I didn't want to be. I liked feeling the need to not cut or take a bottle of pills. I just sat in silence, trying to think of other things that weren't to do with Calum or his stupid band going on tour for half a year. I tried listening to music but all I could think of was the band and how good they were. I tried watching movies but just kept thinking about how I wanted to cuddle up next to my boy and listen to his heart beat. Only, he wasn't my boy anymore. He was Calum Hood, the bassist of 5 Seconds of Summer, who would probably forget that I ever existed by next month.

In a way I was happy with myself, happy that I had the confidence to go up to his door and tell him how sorry I was and just tell him my thoughts, letting the rain making me more ugly and not caring that three other boys had heard it all too. I was happy with myself for not letting my all-consuming anxiety get in the way. I knew that Calum was realise how much that must of tooken me to do it. But, he wouldn't come back. Everything I said was just silly and not enough for him to be mine again. As my thoughts clouded my mind I began to fall asleep, snuggling down into my warm bouncy bed and wrapping myself up in the covers like a burrito. I giggled to myself as I thought about how I had told Calum that he smelt nice on this spot and how much of a fool I must of sounded. I also thought about how we fell asleep on each other here, which made me sleepier,letting a warm tear fall out of the corner my eye I closed them, drifting off into a long sleep.

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My phone was ringing loudly as I opened my eyes suddenly. I picked it up from where it was lying beside my pillow and checked the screen. Mum.

"Hello!", I spoke faking a cheery voice.

"Hey darling! How you doing?", she asked, her high pitched squeal echoing through my phone.

"Good thanks! I got my dress! Did you get the picture I sent you?", I asked crossing my fingers that she'll like it.

"Oooh yes! It's gorgeous! Not something I thought you'd pick out at all hunny!", she replied sounding delighted.

I squealed a little when I heard this. "Yeah I really like it! I never thought I'd like something like that but I tried it on and just bought it immedietly! When are you and Dad coming home?", I asked her sweetly.

"Well, that's what I wanted to speak to you about! The wedding has actually been postponed, one of your Auntie's friends is in hospital at the moment with cancer so they're holding the wedding until next Summer unfortunately.", Mum sighed sadly.

"Oh right, okay"

"And, me and your father wont be coming home until Christmas. We've got a big business event coming up soon and it's all very busy over here. I've put lots of money onto the cards. Is that okay?"

"Awh right.. okay. Thats fine!", I was kind of disappointed because I honestly didn't know how I was meant to cope being alone until Christmas. Thats four months.

"Also, me and your father have discussed and agreed that we think if you wanted to get away, have a little holiday in Europe or wherever with your friends then we're happy to pay for that! We think that we can trust you at 16, you seem to be doing well living without us so if you ever just wanted to get out of rainy London you can. I've opened up a new bank account for you just for a holiday. It should have enough money on it. You can get your card from the bank, I've sent you with all the details on how to do that!"

"Wow! Thanks ever so much Mum! That means a lot!", I replied fakely. Mum had no idea that I was friendless and would be too anxious to get the card from the bank.

"Anything for you sweetly! Anyway, must dash! Call or text me whenever you need me! We love you! Bye bye!".

And she was gone. A quick beep and her high pitched voice was finally not here anymore. I couldn't believe her and Dad had opened a whole new account and card for me to go on holiday. I guess that would be amazing if I had friends. But I didn't.

I decided to run myself a bath so I could just relax. I popped in a Lush bath bomb called 'Twilight' which was my favourite. Lush was me and my Mums favourite shop, its a British high street soap store. It sells amazing bath bombs, bath melts, soaps, face scrubs, shower gels and other nice smelling stuff. She always spends hundereds of pounds there on me whenever she comes back from being away. I've got a massive basket full of stuff that sits by my bath, making a colourful powdery mess around the tub. The lilac water turned into a dark shimmering purple as the little soapy ball kept swirling around, recreating a starry night in the bath water with clouds of lavender and something called tonka. It smelt gorgeous. As I turned off the tap, I threw off my big jumper, leaving me bare to my cuts and scars that covered my skin. I looked down at my striped body as I pushed up my hair, pulling it into a top knot. Suddenly I heard a knock at the door.

"Elsie?", I could hear calling out.

Calum stood outside the door, calling through my open bedroom window. I pattered downstairs, not caring that I was only in a cami top and pyjama shorts and not minding about my cuts and scars.

"I was just about to get into the bath..", I squeaked out as I looked down at my body, the door wide open.

Calum stood there, his hair perfectly quiffed and his black skinny jeans ripped at the knees. His Nirvana shirt was ripped and he had the dark grey hoody he wore when he found me.

"Hi", he said.

"Hi?", I replied, wanting him to say more.

"Can I speak to you please?", he asked.

I gestured him in and sat down on the sofa, trying my hardest to cover my cuts but failing hopelessly. Calum took off his coat and let me wear it, covering my arms. He then handed me a cushion to place on my legs.

"Thanks..", I said softly not even looking at him.

"Did you mean everything you said last night?", he questioned, coughing out his croaks.

"Why else would I say it?", I told him sternly.

"You mean everything to me Elsie. You always will. I've never loved someone like I love you", his voice cracked slightly which was really hot if I do say so myself.

I nodded, pushing back my hair.

"And no matter what happens between us.. I always am going to love you. I understand why you wouldn't want to tell me everything, and its totally up to you what you do tell me. I just desperately want you to be okay, you know? Seeing you hurt kills me and knowing that I can't do anymore than I already am, makes me so determined to get you more help. Anyway, I missed you so much last night babe. I didn't get to cuddle you or kiss your forehead or make you blush, which by the way, I adore making you blush", he stuck his tounge out at me.

"I don't want you to leave me and theres no way in hell that I'm ever going to forget you..".

I smiled widely up at him and wrapped my arms around his neck tightly. He pulled me in closer, so close that I was sitting on him, my legs exposed, but he didn't care about the cuts, he still hugged me.

"I love you Cal", I whispered in his ear gently.

"I love you too!", he snuffled as he pecked my cheek.

I suddenly fell onto him, causing him to fall onto his back and letting me lie on top of his stomach. I sat upright, laughing. He stayed laying down as he placed his hands on my hips. I leaned forward and kissed his nose softly, as I pulled away he brought his lips to mine and kissed me. The kiss lasted forever as we pulled away and pushed into each other again and again, smiling through each touch of affection.