Les Misérables: A Short & Slightly Sarcastic Summary Part 3

Chapter 1: The Seventh Circle and The Eighth Heaven

Everyone is sleeping in the day after the wedding at Mr. Gille's house.

Then Valjean comes to the door and asks to see Marius. For some reason, he asks that the servant not tell Marius it is him. He says he wants to surprise him (I don't think that's the real reason).

I don't really see the point.

Soon Marius comes down to where Valjean is in some parlor or other and he's calling Valjean 'Father' now. How nice.

Marius starts rambling on about the plans to have Valjean move in with them and where all of Valjean's books and such can be put.

Then he asks if Valjean will have breakfast with them today.

"IM A FORMER CONVICT!"

Woah.

"ALSO I FAKED HURTING MY HAND BECAUSE I NEEDED TO STAY ABSENT FROM YOUR WEDDING AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE IT WOULD BE INVALID BECAUSE IVE COMMITTED ROBBERY AND AM CURRENTLY RIGHT NOW ON THE RUN."

Woah.

Marius asks Valjean to tell him everything.

Valjean tells Marius his real name and a very brief and vague version of how he came to care for Cosette.

Marius is like, "Why are you telling me this? Why not just keep it a secret?

And Valjean is like, "Honor, my boy, honor."

*shrugs* okay

Then Valjean rants about why he must stay away from there and yet why he also must tell Marius all of this. He can't risk bringing his past life into Cosette's new married life and his conscience is compelling him to tell Marius why he must leave.

Valjean asks Marius to imagine him living with them, going to the theater with them and then one day suddenly the police are on him and are taking him away.

Marius tries to suggest that Mr Gille's powerful friends procure a pardon for Valjean. He refuses.

Then Cosette walks into the room. She's like, "You're talking politics aren't you? I overheard stuff about conscience and doing your duty. What a stupid conversation to have, you should be with me instead having a grand time."

I mean, is she wrong? I'm sure Marius could be having a lot more fun with her right now...just saying. ;) Sorry

Marius is like, "No, no, we were talking business."

Cosette could care less and decides to sit in a chair and wait for them to end their conversation so they can go have breakfast.

Marius insists that they will bore her, but she insists on staying.

Of course, she finally relents. She asks her father to give her one kiss on the forehead before she leaves but only says to Marius, "You, sir, I make faces at you." Lol

She tries to get Valjean to take her side, but he remains neutral.

Cosette finally leaves after getting Marius to say he loves her. Then she pokes her head back in the room two seconds later and says, "I am very angry."

Okay she is actually amazing in this chapter go Cosette.

Now she is actually gone.

And now Valjean pleads with Marius never to tell her any of this. And he starts crying again.

Marius promises to keep his secret.

Then they both agree that Valjean should never see Cosette every again. Oh no

Then they both agree that Valjean could visit her in the evening almost every day. Oh okay

And Valjean leaves.