Broken Promises {Brendon Urie}

Chapter 21

"Hey, what brings you back so early?" I felt relief wash over me at the sound of Spencer's voice. He was alive. He was okay. He wasn't dead, he wasn't currently dying. He was okay.

"Spencer!" I cried, walking as quickly as my body would allow me to Spencer's bed.

"She had a rough night, to say the least," Dad sighed. 

"Is everything okay?" Spencer asked, pulling me into his arms and hugging me.

"Yeah, she's okay," he said. "She had a bad nightmare. About an hour after we finally got her back to sleep, she had an anxiety attack."

"I thought you were gone," I whispered into his shoulder.

"I'm okay, kiddo," he assured me. "I promise, I'm okay. You're not going to lose me. I promise."

"I was so scared and worried," I whispered.

"It's okay," he whispered back. "There's no need to worry about me. I'm okay. We're all okay."

I spent the day with Spencer. Mom and Dad switched out every so often, running to get food or talk to someone about something. I sat next to him on the bed most of the time, but I had to move whenever a doctor came in to check on him. Mom went and bought some books that Spencer read to me. Whenever he got tired and took a nap, I laid next to him until he fell asleep. Then I would move into a chair next to the bed. One time I fell asleep in the chair and woke up back next to Spencer.

"You fell asleep, so we moved you to the bed where you could be comfortable," Dad explained when I'd woken up. "Spencer said he wanted to have you next to him." I nodded and cuddle up closer to Spencer. He woke up again and hugged me. 

We spent all day there. When it got to be the time visiting hours were over, we said goodbye to Spencer and left. Mom drove back to the hotel, because Dad still didn't think he was ready to drive. I don't remember what happened, but the last thing I remember was sitting in the backseat staring out the window before everything was dark. When I woke up again, I was lying in the hotel bed as the sun shone through the windows. 

A few weeks later, Spencer was released from the hospital. Zack talked to Pete, and he said we could reschedule the tour. Zack said we'd have to wait a little while, because he didn't think we were ready to jump back into tour. I wanted to go on the tour with them, but after what happened the first day, I was exhausted and worried. I thought about it the whole time Spencer was recovering. I wanted to go home. I wanted to go home with Mom, but I didn't want to leave Dad and Dallon and Spencer. They'd go back to the tour as soon as they could. I wanted to go with them, like I said I would, but I also wanted to go home. It was a hard decision. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I didn't want to talk to anyone about it, because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I would just sit up at night and go over and over everything in my head, watching Mom and Dad sleeping soundly in the other bed.

One day we were walking around the town and exploring little shops when Dallon pulled me to the back of the group. We slowed down so that we could be just out of earshot of the others before he finally spoke to me.

"What's up, Baby Urie?" he asked. "You've been acting weird lately. You're starting to worry me."

I sighed. "I just don't know anymore." I looked up at him and he stopped walking.

"What about?" he asked. "Is there something up with Brendon and Sarah we don't know about?" 

I shook my head. "The tour," I said, looking down at the ground. "I don't know if I want to go anymore. I've been thinking about it for weeks. I know the accident was just some twist of fate or whatever, but I'm scared. I'm scared something could happen again. I know it probably wouldn't happen, but I can't help worrying that it would. I want to go home with Mom, but I don't want to leave Dad. What if he gets disappointed that I don't want to go?"

"Rilynn, Brendon may be a little sad that you don't want to go with us, but he'll understand," Dallon said. "If you don't feel like going with us, don't think you're obligated to go. You're allowed to be scared. You're allowed to be nervous. You're allowed to want to go home. Just talk to them. They'll figure out what they're going to do about it. They love you, and they want you to be happy." 

I hugged Dallon, burying my face in his stomach. "Thank you, Dal," I whispered. He hugged me back.

"Come on, let's catch up with the others," he said softly. He picked me up and put me on his shoulders and we walked to catch up with the others. We found them waiting for us outside a small café. 

"Where've you been?" Dad called as we approached.

"She wanted to look at something in a window," Dallon said so that I didn't have to tell them about my decision just yet. I wanted to wait until tonight, when we were back in the hotel. 

"Well you coulda told us," Dad laughed. I smiled down at him from Dallon's shoulders. 

"Sorry, Dad."

"Don't worry about it, baby girl," Dad smiled. 

We walked around for a few hours, and I spent most of the time on Dallon and Dad's shoulders. When we'd finished shopping, we got back in the car and drove back to the hotel. Dad carried all the bags and I walked holding Mom's hand. We went into our hotel room, put all the bags down, and sat on the beds.

"We're going back to the tour soon," Dad said. "In a couple days. We're letting Spencer get a little more time and then we're heading out."

"I actually wanted to talk to you guys about something," I said softly, glancing at my hands in my lap. 

"What's up, Ri?" Dad asked.

"I don't want you to be mad, but I don't think I want to finish the tour with you guys," I said. "I just want to go home."

"It's okay," Dad said. He held out his arms and I climbed into his lap. "I'm not mad. Did you really think I would be mad that you didn't want to go with me?" I nodded. "You can go home with Sarah. Maybe you two can fly out for a show sometime. If you want, of course." 

"Yeah, maybe," I smiled. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. "I love you," I whispered. He was silent for a moment.

"I love you, too, Ri."

*Oof what is with me and updating recently? I've actually been in an editing mood for once. Usually I have to force myself to do it :P I'm currently editing at 1:30am after getting home from babysitting. I'm honestly not even tired, so I decided I might a well just update this book. Anyways, be on the lookout for a new book coming out as soon as Em decides she's actually going to write for once! We have a collab project that I am so excited to share with you! It has a pretty unique twist in my opinion :) You'll have to wait and see what the twist is :) 

Bye, my pretties! (oof Wizard of Oz references) See you soon!

~ A <3