Broken Promises {Brendon Urie}

Chapter 32

"Hey, honey," Mom said when she answered. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," I replied. "We just got done with a show. I realized I hadn't talked to you in awhile, and I miss you."

"I miss you too, honey," she said. I could hear the smile on her face. "Are you having fun? The boys taking good care of you?"

"Yeah, I'm having fun," I said sleepily. "Dad's doing his best, and the others are helping. Zack and I scared him this morning because we went to get breakfast while they were asleep." Mom chuckled lightly.

"You sound tired," she said. "Go ahead and sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay, Momma," I whispered. I was absolutely exhausted. "Bye." I hung up and set my phone down, laying down in the bunk and falling asleep. I was finally able to sleep soundly that night, after hearing Mom's voice for the first time in a few days. I was so tired that I didn't even hear the others enter the bus, talking loudly and laughing. For the first time since the accident, I slept through the night. I didn't wake up once in the middle of the night. I just slept.

The next morning, I was the first one awake. It was still pretty early, and I assumed the others had stayed up for a few hours after I went to sleep. I figured they'd just gotten to sleep about an hour ago, so I quietly got up and walked to a different part of the bus, letting them all sleep. I sat down and got on my phone, checking Instagram and Twitter before calling Mom. I wasn't sure what time it was at home, but I hoped it wasn't late. When she answered, she still sounded awake.

"Good morning, Ri," she said when she answered. I yawned.

"Good morning, Mom," I said.

"Did you sleep okay last night?" she asked. "The boys are still asleep?"

"Yeah, I slept okay," I said. "And yes, the others are still asleep. I'm pretty sure they went to bed really late last night. They weren't even on the bus yet when I went to sleep, and they usually stay up for awhile after they get on the bus."

"That's good," she said. "At least you slept well. Are you doing okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," I replied. "A lot better now that I've been with them for awhile."

"That's good," Mom said. "The tour is almost over. You guys will be headed home soon. That means you'll have to go back to school. Are you okay with your school, or do we need to find a new school?"

"I think I'll be okay now that Dad'll be home too. I was just missing him and Dallon really bad. But I'll be okay."

"Okay, I'll let your teachers know that you'll be back to school soon," she said. "I have to go now, but I'll talk to you again soon."

"Okay, 'bye, Mom," I said. I hung up reluctantly. I missed Mom, but I loved being on tour with everyone else. I couldn't leave this. I already saw what happened last time I tried to leave touring. I started missing Dad and the others so much to the point where it was all I could think about. That's why I was so quiet and sat alone during lunch and recess and didn't make any friends. I missed my family too much to handle. But once this tour was over, we'd all be back home and I would go back to school, but I'd be able to see Dad every day and Dallon and Spencer and Kenny and Zack whenever I needed to. I was ready for that. I was ready to have my family all nearby while I was at home and school.

That day was the worst of all. Whenever they didn't think I was around to hear them, they argued. Mostly Dad and Dallon against Spencer. I didn't understand what was happening. All I knew was that Dad was mad at Spencer for something. Dallon was on Dad's side. Kenny and Zack had little to do with any of it. Whenever they started arguing, I just stayed in the dark corner that I was in or around the corner where they couldn't see me. I listened and tried to understand what was happening, but I had no clue. I didn't tell anyone that I'd heard them. No one knew that I'd been there, listening. I cried myself quietly to sleep almost every night because I didn't know why they were all arguing so much. 

I talked to Mom all the time, but I didn't mention that they'd been arguing. She'd just worry and talk to Dad about it. I didn't want him to know I'd heard them arguing. 

On the last day of tour, Spencer came into the bunk area and climbed up onto the bed I was sitting on. I could tell something was wrong, but I didn't say anything. He sat there silently for a few moments before he sighed. He turned a little to look at me.

"You know I love you right?" he said. "I'll always be there for you."

"I know, Spence," I said. He pulled me into his lap and I leaned back against him. "What's wrong? You're acting weird."

"Ri, I'm going to have to take a break from the band," he sighed. "Just touring for now. I'll still be around to help with recording and all that stuff, I just won't be going on tour anymore. But I'll still be there whenever you need someone to talk to, okay?"

"Why?" I asked. He took a deep breath before answering.

"I'm just. . . I need to take some time for myself is all," he said. "I'll still be around, and I'll always be just a phone call away." I nodded, not sure what to say. I knew it was about why they were arguing so much. I knew it was about the alcohol on his breath. But I knew Spencer wasn't like my foster father. He wouldn't use that to hurt me. The alcohol on his breath didn't mean he was drunk, like my foster father often was. I hugged Spencer tightly, whispering that it was okay and that I still loved him no matter what happened.

After the show that night, we went to the airport and boarded our planes home. I stuck close to Dad, clinging to his hand in the busy airport. People pushed into me as they hurried to get to their gates. Dad held me close to his side, not letting me go. Zack was in front of us, making sure there was a clear path for us. Spencer and Dallon and Kenny were right behind us. We got to a little café and stepped off to the side so that we could say our goodbyes before heading our separate ways. I hugged Spencer the tightest, burrowing my face into his jacket. He hugged me back, but I could tell he was looking at Dad and Dallon. I held back my tears as I realized that this was my first and last tour with Spencer. I'd never get to tour with him again. The realization killed me, but I wouldn't let anyone know.

*Guys, guess what? This is the second to last chapter of this book 😬 the next chapter will be the last. But don't fret, because there will more than likely be a sequel. I actually really enjoy this one, unlike some of the others in my drafts.