When Insanity Strikes

Chapter 10/Addys backstory.

Warning. There is mention of suicide, cutting, and depression.

I laid down next to the beaten up boy. I quickly grabbed his hoodie using magic. I slipped it on and put my headphones in. Veronica knows I have really bad anxiety so I'm allowed to have my phone past my curfew. I curled up and that's when the nightmare started.

[Intro]
I was on the ground.
A 12-year-old cringe-worthy girl. I felt alone. I felt unneeded. I was just a dumb add-on. I sucked at everything. I cried over the simplest things. That's when I met...them. They helped me. They loved me. And I loved them. But then I became an add-on. I became annoying. They introduced me to Kayle. Kayle told me a reminder him of raven...ha. They introduced me to Him. Joey. The love of my life. At first, I thought he hated me. But he didn't. It was the opposite actually. He liked me. But I liked him in a different way. I wanted to love. I wanted affection. And not the platonic type. I want the love I see in people's eyes when they truly care about someone. I wanted that. He gave me all of those things...I asked him out. In a note. It was great. He said yes. I had my first real boyfriend...I don't have to be alone anymore.

I closed my eyes and smiled.

The middle of summer. I told my mom. I told her everything that my so-called brother and cousin did to me. She was angry. She took my phone. She took the outside world from me. I couldn't call or talk to Joey. I remembered my dads Xbox...Joey loves Xbox... I picked up the smooth clean controller. I pressed the on the button and it felt...amazing. I got into a party with Joey. We played Xbox it was fun...I had fun...

I giggled at the memory. That was the first time I played Xbox.

The beginning of 7Th grade. It was pretty fun. I saw Alex. They missed me. I missed them too. I saw a lot of new students. I got my schedule and my mom pulled me aside. "Stay away from them" I was unhappy. She's trying to control me again. I refuse to let this happen. I felt my body shake. I was angry. But I didn't say anything. I knew she would hit me if I did. I walked to my room. I need friends. I want friends. Unlike my mom I require love. Attention. Affection. It makes me feel...wanted.

I sighed at the memory. I hate that one.

I yelled at Alex and they yelled back. We were upset. We were angry. I told her what my mom said. I regret it. I hurt them. I hurt their feelings. And I regret it. They left me. Good. I don't deserve their love or their forgiveness.

I felt tears prick my eyes.

I heard whispers. They were telling me to kill myself. They just want blood. I'll give them blood. I'll slit my body until they stop. Until they stop hurting me. Until they shut up.

I put my arms to my face and saw the lines. The patterns. The blood that I fed my demons. The blood they didn't deserve. In the real world, my scars are gone. But here...they are internal.

I closed my eyes as I swallowed the pills. This is my 3rd try. Every time that never works. I don't want to hang myself. Or slit my throat. I want it to be quick and easy. Joey would be so mad at me. But without them I'm nothing. Yes, you are. Stop, please. The voice...it's different from the other ones. It's...sad please stop. You're my host if you die I die. But not only that...I care for you. I felt tears prick my eyes. I looked up from my bed. And saw a boy. He was my age. Red eyes....red hair...they look a lot like my character Lily. Just a male and more sad version of her. He hugged me and didn't let go. I felt...safe. Give living another chance. Please. I wiped the tears. I'm tired of feeling like this. And I will not allow something so simple make me feel like trash. I am better than that.

I smiled once again. I was strong. But not strong enough.

I surrounded myself with better people. People who love me. Joey...cared more. I spent more time with the people I ignored. I don't need them...do I? I see them and they look so happy... I wish I could make them happy...
I shook my head as I leaned on my lover. He was reading a book "whatcha reading" I said with love in my eyes. "(I don't remember the book title)[insert book title]" I smiled and hugged him. I have him now...he loves me....right?

I...don't know how to feel about that memory. I think that's when I started questioning his love for me...

"We're moving" the first words I heard when I came into my house. Tears pricked my eyes. I just got my life together. I just got my happiness back. And it being stolen again. I quickly made my way to my room. I knew I was going to cry. I have to hurry before my mom finds out. I cried my eyes out. I was so upset. My head hurts. I was laying on the ground. Tears pooled my eyes. I can't handle change...

This was the 5th worst memory I've had.

I walked into my new school. A mini demon was sitting on my shoulder. I'm going to call him Logan. Since my characters gender swap name is Logan. I was nervous. I already hated this school. There was no one that I knew. I felt alone.

Logan is still with me to this day.

I didn't have my phone. I couldn't call text or even see joey. I was an emotional wreck. I tried dating again but all of it failed. I hated how unlovable I was.

I missed him so much.

I made some friends. But then...it happened. There was a warning before it happened. The bomb. The blackout. It's gone. All of it.

I dragged my feet. I was in so much pain. My feet hurt. My body hurts. I saw a figure in the distance but it was a blur. I could barely see. I felt the breath get knocked out of me and I felt something hit me over the head. I blacked out.

"Hey. Are you okay." I don't know where I am but... it feels so warm. I felt myself sinking "... you're trying to let go. You're trying to die...I cannot allow that." I felt a clawed hand pull me towards the surface as I breathe in the air quickly. I sat up and I felt something growing in my tailbone and head. I groaned and opened my eyes. There was someone standing there. Their eyes were so...cold. And unloving. "I am the Huntress welcome, Addy. We were waiting for you to arrive."

I felt a tear roll down my eye. This was when I made it to madness house...when I found my purpose to live...

I ran as fast as I could with my blade on my waist. My first mission. Recruit the Actor. Hm. I suddenly heard music. I peeked in and saw a girl. She had on the phantom of the opera outfit. She was saying the lines in the musical. Then out of nowhere, she switched to the other character. She said the lines perfectly. I was amazed. I sat in a seat and clapped. She heard me and looked in my direction "thank you thank you!" She said taking a bow. I summoned a rose and threw it on the stage. She giggled and jumped down from the stage. She held her hand out. "Kayden." "....Addy"

I smiled as I looked off the cliff. I love this place. It holds all my memories. I closed my eyes once more and...I woke up.