Trigger Warning: A Phanfic

33

Dan's POV- 

(Time jump!!)

He thought that I hadn't noticed what was happening. 

He thought that I hadn't noticed when I came home and could smell his breath. He thought that I hadn't noticed when I hugged him and realized that I not only could wrap my arms completely around him, but that his ribs almost stuck out of his skin. He thought that I hadn't noticed that his face almost seemed to sink in on itself. 

I started noticing that something was going on with Phil a while after I had been going to different meetings and events with Growing Hearts. I don't know how it happened. I had been so careful to keep him stable and I tried my best to keep him happy. I didn't know what I was doing wrong. Why was Phil in a constant state of self harm? 

I got really concerned one night that Phil and I were out together. We had been planning a date for weeks and the night had finally come. We planned to get coffee and then walk around the park together. As we walked around, sipping on our beverages, we reached a set of stairs that led to a balcony that overlooked the entire park and a small amount of the city. 

Everything had started out fine. He had seemed more like himself than I had seen in months. I couldn't count the amount of times that he had flashed his beautiful signature smile. I was convinced that maybe Phil was finally starting to get better. He seemed like he was doing so well. 

That was until we started climbing up the stairs. There weren't that many of them, but there were enough to make the average person out of breath by taking them. We were about half way to our destination when I noticed that Phil's calves were shaking with every step that we took. The more that we walked, the more it seemed to affect his body more. I put a hand on his shoulder, making eye contact with him. 

"Are you okay, love?" I asked him. 

"Yeah, I'm doing fine." 

"Should we take a rest?" 

He didn't answer me, but he didn't continue walking. We stood at the edge of the staircase for a few minutes. I watched him as he tried to catch his breath. He seemed to be feeling better until I saw him start to fall. I caught him quickly, grabbing him underneath his armpits. I noticed that in the second that I was holding him that his eyes were closed. He was unconscious. 

I gently put him onto the step, letting him sit as he came to. 

"What the fuck just happened?" 

"I wasn't feeling too good," Phil told me. 

"Fuck, obviously. Why did that happen?" 

"I just don't think I've had enough to drink today,". He told me, "I think I'm just dehydrated. I haven't felt very good today, maybe we should go to a shop to get a drink of water." He said. I wasn't fully convinced about his story, but I did want him to get well. 

"Why didn't you tell me that you weren't feeling good?" I asked him. I kept a hand on his shoulder as we walked in the case that he might faint again. 

"I didn't want to ruin our date, we were finally able to find a day were we could just spend time with each other." He replied. I could tell that he was lying about something, and I thought that I had an idea about it but I didn't want to believe it. 

"I think we should go see a doctor." I said to him after we found a place for Phil to get a drink. We sat at a painted black table in front of the shop. He looked so frail to me. It was so obvious what was happening, but in no way did I want to believe it. 

Phil wasn't eating. 

I wanted to bring it up but I didn't know how. I tried to talk to him about it but it seemed as though my mouth wouldn't allow me to. The words just wouldn't come out.